How late is too late to say you can’t make a tee time? Time to ruin friendships

A few years ago, our very own Sam Weinman wrote a piece called, “When is it OK to back out of a golf invite in favor of a better golf invite?” It doesn’t get more chaotically evil than that, and the investigation ends with the quote, “I think the penalty for that is just the person never gets invited again.”

That’s harsh but understandable. Don’t bail, especially if you’re going to post photos from a different golf course a few hours later. Have some decorum! Sometimes, a bit of shame is a good thing.

This week’s debate question—How late is too late to say you can’t make a tee time?—is a bit different. You’re not ditching for a better offer. Maybe you have a family responsibility. Perhaps you’re under the weather. Or you have to … dun dun duuun! … get some work done. No matter what, it’s more than inconsiderate to bail right before the tee time, but where’s the cut-off? Where does it switch from kinda annoying to the end of a friendship?

We asked a bunch of unhinged golfers where the line is, and whether or not they’ve ever crossed it. Because anything goes, we even have some employees calling out fellow employees. Enjoy.

Shane Ryan, Contributing Editor: This question is so context-dependent for me. If it's my close group of friends, who I play with all the time, and it's just an ordinary round? I'm fine canceling that morning, ideally with an hour to spare, but even that isn't really necessary. It can't happen often, mind you, and it's a little annoying when it spoils what would have been a good four-ball match, but once or even twice a year? So be it. I've done it, my friends have done it, and if there's a decent reason (my standards are low here; a hangover is plenty), we'll live. But playing with people you don't play with super often, or on some kind of special course or competition, it better be at least 24 hours, and if it's that tight, the excuse better be rock solid, the absolute floor being "I got COVID." On the far end of the spectrum, at my annual friends Ryder Cup trip, we're often rightttt at the limit of the 16 people we need, so in those cases, even canceling a week or two weeks before would be very frustrating. I realize at this point my logic is getting convoluted enough that we need some kind of chart, so I'll quit while I'm ahead.

Ryan Herrington, Managing Editor: I work on a sliding scale here as well. If it’s buddies, your local course, and it’s little more than a casual round, you’ve got until the night before to pull ripcord (and that morning for true emergencies). But anything work-related, a once-a-summer course visit or anything requiring more than a 30-minute drive for those in your group and it needs to be more than 24 hours. It’s important, too, to be realistic when saying “yes” in the first place. If there’s real potential that a conflict might arise, it’s better to pass early. Worst case, your schedule clears and you reach back out to see if the spot is still open. If it isn’t, well, you’ve got a window that opened to, heaven forbid, practice a little.

Ben Walton, Senior Producer: 36 hours, imo.

Joel Beall, Senior Writer: If you’re canceling on one game, it also helps to offer a potential substitute. Because most of the time, the pain in the behind of having someone cancel on you is not that your robbed of their presence, but now you have to start frantically searching for someone to fill the spot. Feel like naming an alternate helps make good on the switcheroo. Anything less than 8 hours can get the f-- out.

Greg Gottfried, Web Producer: You gotta give at least 24 hours, unless there’s an emergency, illness or natural disaster. I’m borderline obsessive about showing up to places on time (usually too early if anything), and someone canceling right before a tee time is more than enough reason to delete their contact from my phone. There are very few legitimate reasons to bail on plans. Maybe that’s harsh, but a man’s gotta have a code.

E. Michael Johnson, Equipment Editor:OK, let’s be fair. Life happens. You get sick. The kids or significant other get sick. The back goes out. A work meeting ruins your planned Thursday men’s night round. To me, those are acceptable reasons to bail at any time. Then there are the ones that are a little more fugazy. The temperature drops below 50 (looking at you, Alex Myers), the dude who had the extra bourbon and can’t drag their rear out of bed. Basically, my answer is a non-answer. There is no acceptable time, just acceptable excuses. To me, a tee time is a sacred commitment only to be broken for good reason. As the prison guard said in “The Shawshank Redemption” to Andy Dufresne, “You better be sick or dead. I s**t you not!”

Christopher Powers, Staff Writer: As the person who makes all the tee times and gets four people together, I’m a believer in 24 hours in advance, at minimum. I’d say 48 hours, because that’s far more considerate, but I understand life events come up last minute. It better be a serious life event, though. Now, I am a hypocrite, because I’ve bailed before for not serious life events, and once did so just to play a different course. I’m still hearing about it from the group I bailed on to this day, and they are 100 percent in the right. When you do something like that and realize you are in the wrong, you’ll never do it again. Bailing in general is f’ed up. As a rule, I try to never do it.

MORE: What it's like to be (almost) late for your Augusta National tee time