The Loop

Did a golf ball kill a gray whale in Washington?

April 25, 2012

In the latest example of life imitating art, a a gray whale was found dead with a golf ball in its stomach. Doesn't ring a bell? Then you must not be a big "Seinfeld" person.

We don't want to make light of a whale dying, but the situation makes it impossible for fans of the TV show to not picture George Costanza, caught in a lie that he's a marine biologist, trudging out towards the water to try to help a beached whale. Completely clueless, he miraculously winds up saving the mammal by pulling a golf ball from its blowhole.

In his subsequent retelling/embellishment of the story ("The sea was angry that day, my friends...") to his friends at the coffee shop, Kramer, who had been working on his golf game at the beach the day before, asks, "Is that a Titleist?" And upon seeing that it is, utters the classic line: "Hole in one."

Unfortunately, in real life, this whale didn't make it. The mammal was found in Washington state's Puget Sound having swallowed a golf ball among other garbage and debris, but scientists are unsure what killed it.

The moral of the story? When practicing your game, stick to the driving range and leave hitting balls into the ocean to TV characters. Better safe than sorry...

-- Alex Myers