A Wrinkle in Time
Reddit Golf Content of the Week: To hell with the clock change!
Late at night, when normal human beings are sleeping, one writer spends literal hours on Reddit Golf, a treasure trove of humor, whining, equipment scores, outright lies and occasionally some great advice. It also led him, once upon a time, to Bucket Hat Guy. Each Friday, he will bring the site's best content to you, so that you can live a normal life.
A lot of times in this column, we look to Reddit as the arbiter of specific golf conundrums—When is it okay to pick up a stranger's ball? What if your spouse hates you playing golf? This time, though, we're wiping out any ambiguity, scrubbing any uncertainty from the record, and getting together for a good old-fashioned vent. The topic? The changing of the clocks. (I would say "Daylight Savings Time," but then the pedants would be all over us since DST is actually the good one, i.e. the summer months, and apparently it's "saving" and not "savings." Go away, pedants.) I'm not sure there's a rational golfer in the entire universe who doesn't see the changing of the clocks as the worst single day of the year. Plenty of irrational ones, but the true thinkers know this is an annual tragedy. Gone is any chance to play nine holes after a normal work day; gone is any chance to start a round in mid-afternoon and finish before dark; gone, even, is just walking two to three holes after 5 p.m. as a sanity-preserving measure.
It's awful! And Reddit Golf knows it's awful, which is why a simple post by user petermal67 making this very simple but very important point is the most popular post on the subreddit this week. Our man didn't even write anything, just posted this picture of a dude holding up a sign at a golf tournament:
This image, you should know, is fake. It's based on a meme of a guy on the street holding up a sign that says "Stop replying-all to company wide emails" (also a good point), and was photoshopped into a golf gallery. Still, as that deranged pro wrestling fan once said, "it's still real to me, dammit!" And Reddit agreed. Here are a few of the top comments:
I just teed off at 12:45 today and barely finished before the sunset. Ridiculous!
Golfers should be 100 percent pushing for permanent daylight savings for this very reason.
Really makes my “after 3pm” membership difficult to use from here on out.
I got denied a walk on tee time at 340pm yesterday. Its an hour worse today. F*** this shit for real. I would be fine with having sunrise at 2pm if it meant later sunsets
We have to mention, too, that the pedants came out of the woodwork. But I guess if we want to push for full DST in this country, we should know our facts, so I'll reluctantly highlight one of them who was more polite.
No, everybody HATES standard time. Full time daylight saving time is the way to go. Don’t believe me? We just changed the time and you hate how early it gets right? Well. We just switched to standard time. It sucks. OP. Please understand this.
My favorite response to this came from KingChav, who cut through the nonsense:
Whichever one lets me play twilight, keep that time system. F the other one
I also loved this back-and-forth, like a petty, online-only version of the Civil War 150 years later:
You northerners need to suck it up. Getting off work at 5:30 in the dark is so depressing. Make DST permanent!
We have to suck it up? We don't get to golf 6 months out of the year because it snows. Here you are bitching because your December rounds are not as convenient anymore.
We don’t pity any golfers foolish enough to live in a state that you can’t golf 6 months out of the year. Our offseason memberships are all afternoon oriented and the extra hour f***s us
Look, I'm a northerner by birth and a southerner by residence (North Carolina), and I hate to do it, but I've got to side with the southerners here. There's a reason I don't subject myself to the ridiculous winters of my youth, and I'm mad that the beautiful fall and winter weather here is unusable for golf too often because of a stupid time rule.
Finally, it's worth mentioning that the morning people came out in droves. The unrelatable, monstrous morning people. You have to go to the bottom of the post to find them, downvoted to oblivion, but they were there, insufferable as usual, rubbing it in everyone's face.
Don’t know. I teed off at 6:20am today.
Yeah, if you’re soft and only play in the afternoons. 90% of my rounds start at first light.
Well GOOD FOR YOU, morning weirdos. The rest of us either have work or just enjoy sleep. In any case, I don't know if there's a solution, but I'm glad we could collectively establish that of all the bad things in the world—and there are many—robbing us of a precious hour to play golf at night is by far the worst. Fix this, Biden.