Dan Jenkins vs. John Feinstein: The Utterly Outrageous Golf Digest Political Blog
Editor’s note: Welcome to Week 1 of Golf Digest’s new political blog. Swinging from one side of the political spectrum is World Golf Hall of Famer Dan Jenkins, Golf Digest’s celebrated Writer-at-Large. His sparring partner during the election cycle is Golf Digest Contributing Editor and best-selling author John (Lefty) Feinstein.
Fore, please: Dan Jenkins now drivin’:
In this year of the mainstream media and most political pundits looking like morons, I want to announce that I’m all in for Trump--and have been from the day he announced.
Not because he’d be the best golfer who ever occupied the White House. That would be good for golf, but it has nothing to do with my support.
The main reason I’m for Donald Trump is that he’s not a career politician. For me, that makes him smarter and certainly more honest than the majority of the corrupt jerks in Washington now who pretend to serve us but only serve themselves.
I’m with Coach Bob Knight on politics. Like Knight, I don’t give a damn about Republicans or Democrats. But as the coach said when he announced his support for Trump, “This sumbitch can play for me anytime.”
I think I might be a conservative independent, whatever that is. My first vote for a president was for Ike in ’52. Since then, the only two times I’ve voted for a Democrat were Kennedy in ’60 and LBJ in ’64. I thought they were the best men at the time.
If there was ever a time when I might have considered myself a Republican, it was in the Reagan and 41 years. But the Repubs lost me when they gained control of the House and Senate and then did nothing to stop Barack Obama from trying to turn America into a socialist country with no borders.
Anybody who thinks Trump is unqualified to be president can answer this for me. How qualified was Obama? The last seven and a half years answer that question, I think.
Has this greatest nation on earth ever been in a bigger mess in every direction you look now? Domestically, internationally, financially, militarily? Even the liberal-silly mainstream political media haven’t been able to excuse or cover up all of it for the current occupant.
I’m amused by people who say Trump’s not smart enough to sit in the Oval Office.
A guy who can build a skyscraper in the middle of Manhattan can’t be dumb. I lived in Manhattan for 30 years. I know how hard it is to do anything when you live there. You can risk your life trying to buy a hot dog on the street.
But build a skyscraper?
I’m also amused by the people who call Trump a “loose cannon,” suggesting he might drag us into “nuke-lar combat toe to toe with the Rooskies,” as Slim Pickens says in "Dr. Strangelove."
Trust me on this, people. A guy with a wife who looks like Melania ain’t gonna blow up the world.
As for Trump’s opponent, our “lyin’, crooked” modern-day Bonnie Parker, who’s been in public life for 25 years but has said only one thing anybody remembers--“What difference does it make?"--I can only paraphrase the words of Mark Twain from a 100 years ago:
“When you see a political leader you think is excellent, keep in mind that she only needs to serve a term or two in the penitentiary to be perfect.”
John Feinstein responds:
There’s an old saying in politics and sports: when in doubt, generalize and exaggerate.
Like his new hero Donald Trump, Dan Jenkins is a master at both arts. The difference between Trump and Dan is that Trump is laughable. Dan’s just funny.
So, to review: Almost all of the mainstream media and political pundits look like morons this year. Why? Because NO ONE could believe that the Republican Party would fall into such complete shambles that Trump would emerge as the presumptive nominee for president? In the land of the bland, the man spewing hyperbole is King.
Then there’s the notion that Bob Knight has become a political genius. I know Bob Knight, I worked with Bob Knight, and believe me, he’s no John Kennedy. Why is Trump so attractive to Knight? Because they’re the SAME PERSON.
They’re both bullies and twisters of truth. They revel in offending people, and they’re both control freaks. They’re narcissists to the nth degree, and, most of all, they both always have to have the last word. Come to think of it, Knight would be a perfect running mate for Trump.
I also love the generalization about President Obama. I know folks like Dan and his fellow Trump-supporters don’t want to hear this, but years from now Obama will be remembered as a great president.
Why? Because fighting uphill against Congress from Day 1, he got a health-care bill passed that provides medical care for millions of Americans who need it. It wasn’t broad enough, but it was a start. And, for all the whining from rich doctors and corporate execs about it, the bill will ultimately save taxpayers money. I’ve known people who had no insurance who, whenever they needed a doctor, went to an emergency room because they couldn’t be refused care there. Who do you think pays for that? And when I hear people like a close friend of mine complain about his company paying 10 percent more in insurance costs because of Obamacare, I want to scream at him. OK, I did scream at him, as in, “You own three homes and belong to five golf clubs and I should care that your insurance costs went up a little so people who can’t afford a doctor can afford a doctor?”
Oh, wait, that’s socialism, right?
And, like Trump, Dan doesn’t want to “have no borders.” Yeah, gotta keep those damn Mexicans out, right? Because they’re ALL drug-dealers, just like all Muslims are terrorists.
Talk about generalizing and exaggerating. Not to mention winning votes by scaring the hell out of people.
One last point. If Hillary Clinton is Bonnie Parker, what is Trump, Tiger Woods? (As a husband, not a golfer.) We’re talking about a man who posed as his own PR guy once upon a time. That’s certainly presidential.
Then again, it’s all OK because wife No. 3 is hot.
Bad news, Dan: The current president’s wife is also hot. And smart.