Country Music

Country music star Toby Keith puts s****y golf to song

July 21, 2017

Country music, it has been said, is three chords and the truth, and the truth is that most of us are, well, s****y golfers.

Put to music by a country music star and you have the song, S****y Golfer, part of Toby Keith’s new album “The Bus Songs,” that will be available Sept. 8.

The idea for the album was explained this way on his website: "Sometimes...his compositions aren't built for massive airplay. They're written too late at night. Maybe in the back of his bus with a glass of Wild Shot mezcal nearby. September 8, Toby is cracking the door and letting music fans aboard with the release of The Bus Songs."

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Keith, incidentally, is an avid golfer, who plays to a 13.0 handicap index at Belmar Golf Club in Norman, Okla. He is a frequent participant in the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am.

The song can be heard here (language warning).

Meanwhile, here are the lyrics:

I’m a s****y golfer, you can ask my wife
I’ve been out there hackin’ every day of my life
I got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters
And that new Taylormade driver didn’t make me any better
Man I hit ‘em bad and I hit ‘em thin
I roll them in the bunkers man I hit ‘em again

Slice ‘em in the bushes, crack ‘em in a creek
I pop that sucker up and hook it out in the street
Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I miss the green to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
And if you call that good then let me press on the side
You can put me down for a five

Hey I’m a s****y golfer, most of us are
We carry our clubs in the back of our car
What else you going to do, you’re out of town
And you need to waste a whole day and shoot another round
Then I’ve played Augusta and I’ve played Pebble Beach
And one time at Sawgrass I shot 83
If I live long enough to be 88 I think I’ll celebrate it by shooting my age

Slice ‘em in the bushes, crack ‘em in a creek
I pop that sucker up and hook it out in the street
Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I miss the green to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
And if you call that good then let me press on the side
You can put me down for a five, oh yeah, put me down for a five


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