The Loop

Apparently no one thinks Sexiest Man Alive Blake Shelton is actually sexy

November 15, 2017

We say none of this out of resentment, because we are happy to acknowledge Blake Shelton would run up the score on us on any imaginary sexy scale, factoring in an assortment of factors: 1) Talent; 2) Wealth and fame; and of course, 3) Fantastic hair.

But you'd like to think the inevitable ego swell that would accompany being named People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" would not be so quickly tempered by the soul-crushing blowback of the Internet telling you you're not sexy, not even a little. In some ways it's just easier to dwell in receding hairline anonymity.

Anyway, this was the dilemma Shelton, the country music and television star, faced when People announced his selection as this year's SMA, complete with a cover shot of him running his fingers through the aforementioned superior hair.

It started with some jocular gloating.

But then came mass-scale puzzlement from the World Wide Web.

A healthy amount of denial.

And what might count as a particularly biting backhanded compliment.