The tips, tricks and lifehacks you need to know when raising a young golfer

There are many mystical experiences you’ll encounter as a parent, but one of the greatest is sharing the things you love with your children, and watching them fall in love with them, too. Parents who play golf feel this viscerally, because if you see your child fall in love with the game, you know you’re witnessing the beginning of something that you’ll be able to do together for decades. Not every parent-child relationship has that; it’s a lucky thing. Kids are going to like what they’re going to like. But, how can all of us golfing parents tilt luck in our favor? How can we show our kids what golf is, in a way that helps them fall in love with it? How do we ensure they don’t end up hating this thing that we love?

To answer this delicate question, staff writer Keely Levins talked to golfers from all parts of the industry: from LPGA and PGA Tour champions to renowned golf instructors. They shared their stories, of how their parents got them into golf and how they’re helping their own children navigate a relationship with the game.

If you’re on the verge of introducing your child to golf, or have already tried once and feel like you’ve failed, these experts are here to help with advice that will surprise and empower you.

HOW TO NOT BECOME A CRAZY GOLF PARENT: How to tell if your kid is going to be any good / The best games to play with a young child / How to reward a kid the right way / How to handle common frustrations / Tips, tricks and lifehacks for golf parents

OUTSOURCE THE INSTRUCTION

Sean Foley, Golf Digest 50 Best Teacher

My dad took me to the range when I was a kid. I hit one teed-up 3-wood pure, and I’ve been chasing that dopamine rush my entire life. My dad never tried to teach me anything but the values of the game. For technique, he set me up with incredible instructors throughout my life, all with different methodologies to help me become a well-rounded golfer. Every parent, no matter how qualified he or she may be, can struggle to teach their child golf. Tiger Woods and I were on the phone once, and I asked him how Sam and Charlie were getting on. He goes, “Sam’s great, but Charlie, I just can’t get him to listen to me on the golf course. I’m trying to help him with his short game and putting, and he just simply will not do it.” As their stellar performances in the PNC Championship the past few years attest, Charlie and Tiger have obviously figured out a way to work together, but even Tiger experienced how hard it can be to be your child’s teacher. Outsourcing at least some of your child’s instruction can take the pressure off and help children fall in love with the game in their own way.

MAKE EVERY ASSOCIATION PLEASANT

Trillium Rose, Golf Digest 50 Best Teacher

I coached a five-year-old who asked to bump our sessions from 30 minutes to an hour. He’s one of those kids who’s loved golf from the start. My six-year-old is not one of those kids. Helping her love golf has been a test for my husband and me. We’ve learned to let her do whatever she wants at the range if she isn’t bothering anyone else. She wants to take all the tees and build a fort? Great. She wants to hit one? Great. She wants to sit in the cart and drink lemonade while I hit balls? Great. I want every association she has with the game to be pleasant. She likes activities with other kids, so we signed her up for group lessons. We dropped her off like we drop her at soccer. We prayed she’d like it, but you can’t let your kid see that, because that’s pressure. It’s not fair to them, and it could backfire on you. This summer, we took her out on the course with a friend. The other kid’s mom and I grabbed a cart and kept an eye on pace of play while the kids hit it, ran after it and hit it again. I rarely talk about technique with my daughter. If one day she wants to learn more about the swing, she knows I’ll be right here for her.

DON’T MAKE IT ABOUT HITTING PERFECT SHOTS

Davis Love III, Hall of Famer

Atlanta Country Club recently posted a photo on Instagram of the renovation of the sixth hole, and I immediately thought: Those rocks are the best place to look for golf balls on the whole golf course. That was my association with that hole because my dad, who was the pro there, would take us out on Mondays when the course was closed. When we got to No. 6, my brother Mark and I would get bunker rakes and gather balls from under the rocks. Dad made golf fun for everybody—that was his mission in life. We’d take a fishing rod with us and stop playing to go fish. Mark (who caddied for me and co-founded our golf architecture firm) also fell in love with golf as a by-product of those casual outings. When I first introduced my son to the game, I let him drive the cart, and play in the bunkers with the rake. My granddaughter, well, at first her favorite thing to do was ride in the cart and fill divots with sand. She also liked to look for mushrooms. She’d set up to the little mushrooms like they were golf balls and swing at them to make them explode. In all those introductions to golf, hitting perfect shots was never the focus. The result is generations of people who love the game.

IT DOESN’T HAVE TO LOOK LIKE YOUR GOLF

Brittany Lincicome, eight-time LPGA Tour winner

Even though you love playing 18 holes, delay taking your kids out for a full round. My dad took my brothers and me to the range to teach us how to hold the club and swing it. The main purpose of those outings was to spend time together. Once we were making contact, Dad took us to a par-3 course under the lights. The longest hole was 80-some yards. The focus was on having fun and being together and not slowing any other groups down. We spent a few years there before going to a full-sized course. I loved those nights under the lights. Now that I’m a mom, I send my daughter, Emery, to First Tee clinics because I know their focus is the same as my dad’s: Have fun and enjoy being with good people. Emery reminds me of myself the way she goes out there and just tries to hit it as far as she can. I’m going to keep doing what my dad did: Let my kids play multiple sports and have golf be a normal part of that rotation. Hopefully, it’ll be something we can enjoy together for a long time.

FEWER CLUBS THAT FIT RIGHT IS BETTER

Jonathan Wall, Golf Digest Managing Editor (Equipment)

An old set collecting dust in the garage feels like a perfect opportunity to retrofit and save a few bucks. As a father of three, I’ll cop to considering a similar strategy for my kiddos. Cut-down clubs worked for Jack Nicklaus! But the consensus in the golf equipment world is never. It can make a shaft so stiffit’s virtually unplayable and a kid miserable. You don’t need to spend much. Marty Jertson, Ping’s vice president of fitting and performance, suggests starting with a handful junior-specific clubs—driver, fairway wood, 7-iron, wedge, putter should do—and letting creativity lead the way. “There’s a lot of skill development that happens if you give them a limited set,” Jertson says. “Let them learn how to manipulate the face. Make them earn more clubs.” Also, woods should have at least 15 degrees of loft. “Getting the ball into the air is magic,” says Dan Van Horn, U.S. Kids Golf’s founder. “To help them achieve that, use a tee often and make sure they have proper clubs.”

STICK TO YOUR PARENTAL VALUES

Annika Sorenstam, Hall of Famer

My husband, Mike, and I introduced our kids, Ava and Will, to golf when they were young, but they didn’t like it. “What a bummer,” we said to each other. My parents introduced my sister and me to golf the same way they introduced us to everything: Here’s a soccer ball; go kick it if you like. Here’s a golf club; we can go to the driving range if you like. We tried a lot of things as a family until we figured out what we really loved to do. Mike and I know that our job is to introduce our kids to everything so that they can hopefully find that thing they’re excited about when they wake up in the morning. In 2015, I was going to the Drive, Chip and Putt event at Augusta National. It was over Easter, so Mike and I decided to go as a family. Ava and Will had so many questions about what the kids were doing and how they got there. They asked if they could do it. I said, “Yes, but these kids have practiced very much to qualify to get here, so you need practice, too.” We signed them up for the next year’s qualifying, and they practiced every day before and after school for two months. Now, Ava is a social golfer, and Will plays all the time.

WAIT UNTIL THEY ASK TO PLAY

David Leadbetter, Golf Digest Legend of Golf Instruction

Seve Ballesteros once told me how he’d keep his kids from the course when they were enjoying it. He wanted them to beg him to go to the golf course. When our daughter, Hally, didn’t want to play golf as a young child, we knew we had to let her do other things. For her to gain that love affair with the game, she needed the space to come to golf on her own terms, if she’d come to it at all. My wife was 15 when she started to play golf and went on to compete on the LPGA Tour. Hally was casually around golf just by being in our family, but she really loved horseback riding. When Hally was 12 or 13, she said she wanted to play golf. We remained calm and supported her by getting her equipment and coaching. When Hally got into it, she really got into it. She had a good college and amateur career and turned pro. Quickly, she decided to get into the media side. Now there’s no denying how much she loves the game.

A FEW YEARS AWAY IS OK

Dave Schnider, CEO Fujikura Golf

I introduced my son casually to golf by taking him on the course with me a few times, but at age five it was clear that he didn’t want to play. He was getting frustrated. I wasn’t having fun, either, so I took a step back. For four years, he didn’t touch a club. He played other sports, and I played golf with my friends. He showed interest in golf again when he was nine, so I signed him up for PGA Junior League. He kind of liked playing with the other kids but was still more competitive in other sports. Fast forward to high school and he decides he’s done with basketball and soccer—now he wants to play golf. He absolutely dove into the game. Now he’s 16 years old and is a plus-handicap with plans to play college golf.

IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE EXPENSIVE

Ben Griffin, PGA Tour player

Golf has a reputation for being expensive, but you can raise a kid who loves golf on a budget. My parents introduced me to golf at our country club, and I was one of those kids who loved it right away. Golf was a fun way to spend time with my dad, and I was pretty good at it. When we left the club due to financial reasons when I was 12, my parents kept my love of the game alive by figuring out how to get me access to golf without having to overspend. There was a Golf Galaxy in a shopping center my mom would go to, so she’d drop me offthere, and I’d hit balls and putt while she shopped. They found a public golf course with a chipping and putting green and would drop me off on their way to work in the summer and pick me up on the way home. They were creative and made sure I was surrounded by good people. Golf can be very affordable if you get a little creative in your approach.

SHOW THEM HOW TO ACT, NOTHING MORE

Ryan Palmer, four-time PGA Tour winner

Too many parents have too much riding on their kids’ golf. They base their social lives around it and get satisfaction out of their kids playing well. My dad was really only concerned with my behavior. He’d unceremoniously take me off a golf course if I let my temper get the best of me. Our son, Mason, wasn’t into golf as a kid so we never pushed. When we did play, the only expectation was he follow proper etiquette and be respectful. When he was 13, he said he was done with hockey and wanted to get back into golf. It was a bit of a shock. Of course, I was happy to help, but I can’t make him good. I can’t make him practice. He knows that part is on him. I help him when he asks, but he has his own coaches he works with. I’m here to encourage and teach him how to act, like my dad did with me.

LEAVE WHILE EVERYONE IS HAVING FUN

Erika Larkin, Golf Digest 50 Best Teacher

The advice I give all golf parents is something that worked for me when I learned how to play with my family on a pitch and putt: Leave while everyone is having fun. If you wait until your child gets tired, the attitude toward golf sours. If your child is smiling when he or she leaves the golf course, that child will want to come back. You can also create this positive association by letting golf be the reward for something the child has earned. In the same way that you’d reward your child for getting through a doctor’s appointment or celebrating something at school with a new toy or a special treat, reward the child with golf. That way, golf is in the same category as treats: It’s a desirable, special thing.