This is when it's OK to wear jeans on the golf course

July 26, 2015

By now you and your friends have likely engaged in a debate about whether jeans are appropriate on a golf course. It's a serious issue, and many private clubs are having similar discussions inside their wood-paneled walls (while probably wearing gabardine).


But it still begs the question: are there occasions when jeans should be allowed on a proper golf course? Here's where we're willing to make exceptions:

-- When you are Michael Jordan.

-- When you are playing in a costume golf tournament and you are dressed as one of the Village People.

-- When you are playing golf alone and every other person in town is inside because of an impending natural disaster.

-- When your jeans are not denim-colored and they're made of a lighter, more pliable fabric.* (*In other words, when your pants are not really jeans.)

-- When you have arrived at the golf course straight from the set of "Homewreckers."

--When you are a plainclothes police officer in pursuit of a bank robber and he has just sprinted across the fifth fairway. (Also: When you are a bank robber being pursued by a plainclothes police officer.)

-- When your significant other has threatened the other members of his or her foursome with a 6-iron and you are there to deliver his meds.

There are surely others -- for instance, if you're in Canada, or if you're a member of the "Golf Boys" -- but otherwise, we feel like this covers it.

Now, on to tank tops . . .