Exercise in Contrasts
The Loop

These photos of Joel Embiid and Jose Altuve at the SI Awards are absolute gold

Sixers center and part-time social media consultant Joel Embiid is seven feet tall. AL MVP and Astros hero Jose Altuve is 5' 6". Together, as one particularly genius photographer discovered at Tuesday night's annual SI Sportsperson of the Year awards, they are a delightfully hilarious buddy-cop duo. Check out the mind-boggling exercise in contrasts below:

Slaven Vlasic
(L-R) Joel Embiid, Jose Altuve, J. J. Watt and Carlos Beltran arrive for the 2017 Sports Illustrated Sportsperson of the Year Award Show on December 5, 2017, at Barclays Center in New York City. / AFP PHOTO / ANGELA WEISS (Photo credit should read ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images)
ANGELA WEISS
(L-R) Joel Embiid, Jose Altuve, J. J. Watt and Carlos Beltran arrive for the 2017 Sports Illustrated Sportsperson of the Year Award Show on December 5, 2017, at Barclays Center in New York City. / AFP PHOTO / ANGELA WEISS (Photo credit should read ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images)
ANGELA WEISS
NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 05: Philadelphia Sixers Joel Embiid, Houston Astros, Jose Altuve, Houston Texans, J.J. Watt and former Majorl League Baseball player, Carlos Beltran attend 2017 Sports Illustrated Sportsperson of the Year Awards at Barclays Center on December 5, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by John Lamparski/WireImage)
John Lamparski
NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 05: (L-R) Rich Batista, Maggie Gray, Maya Moore, J.J. Watt, Bunchie Young, Joel McHale, Joel Embiid, Jose Altuve, Carmen Yulin Cruz, Colin Kaepernick, Carlos Beltran and Chris Stone attend SPORTS ILLUSTRATED 2017 Sportsperson of the Year Show on December 5, 2017 at Barclays Center in New York City. (Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images for Sports Illustrated)
Slaven Vlasic

No really, someone green-light this pilot ASAP. Embiid is the good cop who does things by the book. Altuve is an off-the-rails wild card who will do anything to get his man. Sure, sometimes Altuve worries about his partner's one weakness—the ladies—and Embiid wishes Altuve would stop leaving half-eaten donuts on his desk, but together they are the best detective team in [spins America's hippest new city wheel] NASHVILLE!

In all seriousness though, props to event organizers for making sure these two were glued to each other's hip all night, as well as JJ Watt, who sounded off on the fascinating athletic dichotomy in typically earnest JJ Watt fashion:

Thanks, JJ.