Stupid Golf Problems: 10 tips for planning a bachelor party/golf trip that everyone can enjoy
Ahhh, the “bachelor party weekend,” a phrase that causes the brain of the nearest boomer in ear shot to short-circuit. “BACK IN MY DAY, BACHELOR PARTIES WE’RE ONE NIGHT. AND WE DID IT AT DA BAR DOWN DA STREET. YOU STUPID MILLENIALS AND YA WEEKENDS.”
Honestly, as I’ve gotten older (33 now, yikes), I’ve started to agree more with the boomers on this subject. I’m nearly at the end of my bachelor party era, and early on they were just Friday and Saturday, at a location within driving distance. Then, seemingly overnight, Thursdays got involved. And planes, too. All of them now are three-to-four days of hell, the only truly fun part of them being the travel day (Thursday) and the opening night (Thursday). The excitement of everyone being together and going somewhere, then going way, way too hard right away, when everyone said they wouldn’t, is the best. After that, it’s nothing but splitting headaches, lack of food and water, and poor financial decisions.
For many male friend groups, the bachelor party weekend now doubles as a golf trip, which I, naturally, have no problem with. That said, it can create a lot of issues when you have a large group with varying levels of interest in golf. With bachelor party season in full swing as we speak, there’s a way to perfectly thread the needle between bachelor party and golf trip and make sure everyone’s happy with the itinerary. Here are 10 helpful tips for any bachelor party that is not fully made up of single-digit cappers with alignment sticks in their bags:
Book two rounds, total, for the three-to-four day trip
If your crew still drinks alcohol and likes to have fun (becoming less prevalent these days), two rounds is ALL you need on a short trip like this. You absolutely should not play every day of the trip, and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you play 36 holes in one day.
Space those two rounds out
Not only are Thursdays involved in bachelor parties now, but, even if a plane is involved, guys are touching down before noon and are ready to get after it right away. In these scenarios, it’s best to get one round out of the way on Thursday afternoon for all the people who can arrive early and then leave Friday golf-free for A. proper recovery, and B. a different activity, or multiple activities. The main issue with golf is the length of time it commands. A completely golf-free day allows for things like far-too-physical pool basketball, a proper sit-down meal, drinking games and so much more. The other round should be booked for Saturday, which brings me to my next point.
No early morning rounds
If you can play on the Thursday afternoon and you leave Friday open, the Saturday round should be booked no earlier than 11 a.m. I know, I know, you have dreams of getting out early and then having the full day ahead of you, but it’s just not realistic to think everyone is going to show up bright-eyed, or show up at all, for the 7:30 a.m. Saturday round. If it’s 11 a.m. or later, the people who need to sleep it off can sleep it off and the people who like to get their day started earlier, regardless of how much they drank the night before, will be awake and alive and able to rally the troops. By the time that all happens and everyone arrives at the course and the sun is shining, everyone will be in “hair of the dawg” mode and ready to bounce back. If the round is at 7:30 a.m., you’re bound to lose some good men, and the ones that do rise from the ashes will be in a sour mood and will certainly not want to get back on the horse at that hour. Plus, when the round ends, you’ll then lose those that rallied to an afternoon nap, which so often turns into a full-day coma during prime day-drinking hours. Now you’ve lost an entire day of what’s supposed to be one of the best weekends of your life, so you could all grind out a hungover 94.
Book one less group for one of the rounds
Even if the round is booked for later in the day, you are still going to have dropouts. That said, the “one less group” round could also be the first round, depending on arrivals. Either way, you’re only going to get full participation in one of the rounds, so always book one less group for one of the days. Even if it’s only one or two stragglers, they’ll end up persuading another one or two to hang back. And I promise, since this isn't a bachelorette party, no one will be back at the AirBnb talking crap about how some of the group had the audacity to go do something without them. The guys who hang back will probably find an activity to do themselves, like go kart riding, catching fish with their bare hands and roasting them over an open flame, or simply drinking at a bar for four hours.
Book one nice course, one “f--- around” course
This goes hand in hand with the tip above. For the smaller, more serious golf clan, book the nice course (this group is more willing to pay top dollar, too). For the plebians, book the course where some tomfoolery is not only tolerated, but welcomed.
Call ahead and confirm rental clubs
In a bigger group, especially if a plane is involved, there are going to be guys who are not bringing their clubs, or don’t have clubs at all. These are the types of people who assume they can just “rent” without knowing that not every course in the world has rental clubs. If you’re the leader of said group, call ahead and confirm A. if they have rentals, and B. if they have enough sets for however many guys are renting. Do not show up day of and say “yes, we have the three tee times starting at noon, and we need four rental sets.”
Always ask if there is any kind of large group/bachelor party special rate
Worst the course can say is no. And if there is no discounted group rate, you'd might still be able to finagle something out of it. A drink and a dog deal, a five beers and a sixth free deal, etc. Last year in Myrtle, my one buddy just told the guy in the pro shop it was our buddy's bachelor party and we wanted something to commemorate it, so the guy gave us a free flag with the course logo and we all signed it for the bachelor. A nice thing to remember the weekend forever despite not remembering much else from it.
Change up the format for one of the rounds
Ideally, this should be when the whole group is playing – make that day a scramble, or, even better, modified alternate shot. I did this with a group last year – the Pinehurst format, 2 vs. 2 in each group. You both hit your drive, then you hit from each other’s drives, then you choose the best one and alternate in. Guys in the group who play two rounds a year told me afterward how much fun they had strategizing with their teammate, as opposed to mindlessly shooting 110 on their own ball and having zero fun. Can’t go wrong with a scramble, either, but you’d be surprised how much fun it can be to play some version of alternate shot with the boys.
Bring CASH
Ideally, some sort of gambling will be involved in these rounds, so you simply have to have cash. Not to mention the fact that you should always be tipping people like the beverage cart girl, the guy who cleans up your clubs at the end of the round or the person at the halfway house. Don’t be that guy ... which brings me to the final tip.
Designate one person in each group to handle the buying of drinks
Things like Splitwise and Venmo “groups” have made settling up after a bachelor weekend much easier, but things can get a little murky when everyone’s “getting the next round” at the golf course. Just have one guy in each group buy all the drinks every time the cart comes around or at the halfway house before and after the round, and settle up with your own little group after the round and be done with it. Don’t get caught up in the “Well, Nick got the first round at the bar when we were waiting for our tee time ... and Rob got the second round on the third hole, but then Tom got the round at the turn, but he got two hot dogs, too...” Mind-numbing.
Do you have a "stupid" golf problem? A question you're too ashamed to ask your close friends? A conundrum that needs to be talked out in a public forum? We're here to help. If you have etiquette-related inquiries or just want to know how to handle some of the unique on- or off-course situations we all find ourselves in, please let us know. You can email me (chris.powers@wbd.com) or send me a DM on Twitter/X (@Cpowers14) or on Instagram (@cpthreeve).