PONTE VEDRA BEACH — Sunday night, facing the media after his gritty win at the Arnold Palmer Invitational, Tyrrell Hatton was asked many questions on many topics, and he answered them gamely. As time passed, though, he found his thoughts drifting reliably to a favorite theme: the victory party that awaited him.
With scores of white glasses bedecked by the Palmer umbrella logo flanking him on the corner tables, each swimming with vodka, celebration was in the air, and Hatton didn’t need much prodding. Here was his quote when asked about the prospect of an Englishman winning the Players Championship:
“Time will tell. It’s hard to kind of think about next week at the moment with the sort of potential celebrations we have got later today. I don’t think I’ll be in any fit state but, at least until Wednesday. But yeah, I think we’ll savor this one quite a bit. But next week’s going to be, it will be interesting …”
On his plans for the red cardigan awarded to the tournament winner:
“Well, I don’t want to ruin it and with the celebrations that will occur tonight I think it’s best to put it on a coat hanger.”
On whether his schedule would change because of the win:
“That’s something that I’ll sit down and talk to my management company about and we’ll kind of go from there. Obviously, like I said, the immediate thought is to kind of get celebrating … ”
You get his drift. The man was ready to PARTY!
That was the last media sighting of Hatton until Wednesday morning in Ponte Vedra Beach, when he had his press conference at the Players Championship. It didn’t take long for somebody to ask him about Sunday night, and as Hatton quickly explained, things went exactly as planned.
“I’m still quite tired, to be honest,” he said. “But I was cuddling the toilet by 5 in the morning, so it was a good night.”
There have been many adjectives used to describe one’s interactions with a toilet after a wild night, but “cuddling” is perhaps the most unique. And evocative.
After his media duties Sunday night, Hatton and his entourage went to the restaurant Nona Blue in Orlando, where they indulged in red wine. (Under direct questioning, he singled out Caymus as one of his favorites, a California vineyard that specializes in cabernet.) If the debauchery had stopped at wine, Hatton might have been able to function the next day. But that was not the case—not hardly. His group left Nona Blue and made its way back to the home they’d rented for the week, and that’s where the action picked up.
“I think the finisher was drinking the vodka and tequila out of the bottle, which never ends well,” he said, a little proud and a little sheepish. “And, yeah, I fell victim of that, definitely.”
Unfortunately, there’s very little detail about what exactly happened beyond the tequila and vodka consumption, so when it comes to the specifics of the descent into revelry, imagination will have to suffice. But we know how it ended: At 5 a.m., curled up by a toilet, cuddling. Some people just know how to win.