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Pedro Martinez says he ‘dictates how his balls are rubbed’ (his baseballs, you sickos)

June 16, 2021

Now that AL CY Young candidate Tyler Glasnow basically blamed MLB for his partial UCL tear, the "sticky stuff" saga has officially reached DEFCON 5 levels of scandal. It's gone from "wow, all these pitchers are cheating, we must stop them," to "we should probably just let them use the stuff so they don't get hurt and also don't kill a batter with a wild pitch" in a span of a few weeks. 

Naturally, the MLB's scandal du jour is a big topic on MLB Network this week, and legendary pitcher Pedro Martinez happened to be on the set on Tuesday night. He, of course, is siding with the pitchers, much like a former quarterback would defend any and all roughing the passer calls in today's NFL, no matter how soft. 

In this case, though, we will likely see more and more prominent voices come out in defense of the pitchers, including hitters who would actually prefer that pitchers have more control with the baseball. Nobody had greater control at his peak than Pedro, who was the only one who dictated who rubbed his balls. His words, not ours:

His BASEballs, you sickos. 

Unfortunately, all of our minds are in the gutters, and all we can do is tip our cap to the other guys on set for not laughing their asses off. True pros. But yes, Pedro and only Pedro should dictate how his (base)balls are rubbed up, and so should every other pitcher provided it's not with one of the substances that increases spin rate. Everyone is for pitchers having a better grip on the ball, so long as it's not truly cheating the game.