Masters Patrons
Masters 2025: Overheard in the gallery at Augusta National on Tuesday
JD Cuban
AUGUSTA, Ga. — There was a murderers' row of press conferences at Augusta National on Tuesday, as big names from World No. 1 Scottie Scheffler to Rory McIlroy to Bryson DeChambeau spoke to the press ahead of the Masters. But what the patrons were saying out around the course was arguably more entertaining. So as we like to do from time to time, here's what we heard when walking around the course eavesdropping.
"There's the TV press area. It says no fans, but should we test it?"
I'd definitely recommend not testing that.
"Ninety minutes to wait for merch?! Why don't we go out and see the course while all those people are in line?"
Now that sounds like a better idea. (And, yes, the merch lines are really that long.)
"We played at Prestwick, which is the Augusta National of Scotland."
I'm not a golf architecture expert, but I've never heard that one.
JD Cuban
Husband: "We're probably going to just walk around the whole course five times today, is that OK?" Wife: "Absolutely."
That's ambitious! Not sure people are aware, but Augusta is "hillier than it looks on TV!" Kidding, everyone is aware of that by now.
"Please take a photo for my buddy, his favorite player is Tom Kim."
I didn't have the heart to tell him it was Michael Kim.
"Hey, that's Michael Kim. He was just in contention a couple weeks ago."
OK, now that's a ball knower.
"That's Spieth's caddie! Greller!"
Another ball knower.
"Maybe because we don't have our phones, this place looks even more beautiful?"
Yep. That's kinda the point.
"My greens at home are really tough, so I'd do fine here."
Sure you would. Sure you would.
"She told me she loved me!"
I hope he wasn't talking about one of the strippers at Augusta's Discotheque Lounge.
"There's the clubhouse, which was originally the house of the course's owner."
Um . . . not exactly . . .
Husband: "That's Brandel Chamblee!" Wife: "Who's that?"
Escort her off the property, please.
"Wow, there's so much more undulations in person."
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that . . .
"What an absolutely fantastic day. Time to get a beer!"
Sounds like a plan.