Let's be clear here: Some No. 1 rankings are NOT open for debate

By Sam Weinman__

__With so much talk these days about a new player taking over as No. 1 in the world -- one of five players could end the week in the top spot -- we thought it was important to clarify: the ranking in question is for the No. 1 GOLFER in the world. Because some titles, it should be stressed, are not in question.

For instance . . .

No. 1 at goofy thumbs ups.__

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No. 1 at deadpan, faraway gazes.

No. 1 at gazes that would freak you out.

No. 1 at weeping as if you just watched the end of "Titanic".

No. 1 at being in the top 5.

No. 1 at being visible from outer space.__

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No. 1 at misguided attempts at humor on Twitter.

No. 1 at life.__

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No. 1 at pants.

No. 1 at whatever this is (tie).__

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