In defense of ... loud

"Quiet on the tee!" We’ve heard it a billion times, and we always abide. After all, golf is about decorum. We must never forget this or the next thing you know there will be professional events where patrons run indiscriminately around hurling cups of beer in Phoenix. We cannot let this happen. As a lover of the game, I stand steadfast, and yet ….

Golf was founded in the 15th century in Scotland, a strange, cold and seemingly inhospitable place to decide to whack a small ball great distances into tiny holes. I’m not suggesting the early Scottish were mad, but nothing about their bright tartans and obsession with the game was particularly subtle either. Old Tom Morris, with his jaunty hat, flowing beard and stylish sport coat, is practically a member of Jethro Tull.

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I’ll allow that it isn’t always, or even usually, appropriate to stage a Rodney Dangerfield-style dance party. The next time you hear “Quiet on the tee!” do as you’re told, but do it with legendary flair, in bright colors, unique prints and style that stands out.

Loudness may be golf’s central paradox. Search your personal memory bank and see what leaps to mind. Is it the fine and perfectly mannered “Gentle” Ben Crenshaw doing, well, anything? For me, it’s Lee Trevino wielding a rubber snake, Tiger Woods fist pumps, Ian Poulter’s hysterical Ryder Cup celebrations, John Daly on any given day in his career or Bryson DeChambeau’s weird clubs and flat cap that would have made Payne Stewart proud. Loud and proud. The quote of last year came from Charley Hull as she ripped a dart: “Shy kids don’t get sweets.”

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