Scottie chooses family, Rickie rising and the fight for Augusta: 10 things for the Houston Open

Golfpocalypse is a meandering collection of words that runs prior to each week's PGA Tour event, mostly ABOUT that event. Reach out with your hottest takes on absolutely anything at shane.spr8@gmail.com. We'll publish the best emails here.

Look, at this point in the year are we mostly counting the days until Augusta? Yes, obviously. But I'm not BS'ing you when I say that the Texas Children's Houston Open has managed to deliver a few times in recent years, including 12 months ago when Min Woo Lee survived a bit of shakiness down the stretch to beat Scottie Scheffler by one. Hence, I'm more excited than I probably should be for this week. Without further ado, however, here are 10 things to watch for in Houston.

1. Rogue Golf Thought: LIV should just do Bryson vs. Rahm every week

I have not watched very much LIV Golf because I think it's dull, but when I woke up on the east coast Sunday morning and saw that Bryson DeChambeau and Jon Rahm were about to go head-to-head in a playoff in South Africa, I searched it out on my YouTubeTV (harder than you'd think!) and got there just in time for a truly jaw-drapping shot. This combination, Bryson v. Rahm in a playoff, is one of the very few things that could have gotten me to tune in, and it paid off. The aftermath was annoying, with the predictable propaganda (for days) about how this was the greatest golf tournament ever staged and etc., but they got this one thing right. So my suggestion is simple: Just make LIV a one-on-one league between Bryson and Rahm. Each year is a 14-match series between them, sometimes it's stroke play, sometimes it's match play, and they're mic'd up. Like an ongoing version of "The Match," but serious. This idea can't fail; get me on the horn with Scott O'Neil STAT.

2. Goodbye to Scottie, the '90s Buffalo Bills of the Houston Open

Congratulations in advance to Scottie Scheffler, who has withdrawn from the Houston Open because he'll soon be celebrating baby No. 2 with his wife Meredith. This is great news for most parties—the Schefflers, of course, and also selfish fans like me who didn't want him to miss the Masters—but it's not great for the Houston Open, who just lost the World No. 1. (Between this and rising oil prices, what a tough time to be a rich Texan.)

What does his absence mean? Well, mostly that someone else is going to have to finish second. Scheffler managed the difficult feat of ending up T-2 in three of his last four tries, which has to be some kind of record. The three men who beat him are Min Woo Lee, Stephan Jager and Jason Kokrak, which represents a part of Scottie's résumé they won't be reading at his future Hall of Fame induction. Anyway, with him gone, Chris Gotterup is the only other player in the world top 10 teeing it up in Houston, so let's spend the rest of the post talking about Duke's chances of making the Final Four.

3. Jordan Spieth Sadness Index (JSSI)

Just kidding! We'll talk about golf, and though Spieth isn't teeing it up this week, I do want to update the Sadness Scale. He finished T-11 last week, but even though our score was trending high at a 7.1 before the Valspar, I'm actually going to keep it steady at that same score. Why aren't we less sad this week? Well, because my pal Kyle pointed out that in each of his first three rounds, Spieth played his final four holes in two over. If he had played them even par, he would have won by a shot, but that's not the point ... the point is he's very much doing the thing where the minute he starts climbing into elite company, he rebounds with violent speed. Signs are promising—I'm not saying signs aren't promising—but he shows no signs that he'll stop playing with our emotions. Under these circumstances, I refuse to reduce the Sadness Index.

4. To win in Houston, you must bomb

Data Golf tells the story pretty clearly—to succeed at Memorial Park Golf Course, you better hit the ball a mile. This is why see guys like Gary Woodland (T-2 with Scottie in 2025) succeeding in the past. While it's not impossible for a shorter hitter to succeed, it does feel like this course lacks a bit of subtlety (Rory McIlroy, who is not playing this week, said last year "I feel like you can sort of stand up at every tee box and just hit it everywhere and be OK."). Min Woo Lee set the 72-hole scoring record at 20 under last year, and a lot of players were close behind, so unless we get some adverse weather or firmer conditions, you can expect another bloodbath. Lee is 13th in driving distance this year, and Gotterup is sixth, so considering how solid they've been this year already, those are the two very clear favorites.

The bigger question here: Memorial Park is a celebrated municipal course in Houston and well loved even by the architecture knowers—is this another sign that it's tough to impossible to have a track that works for the masses and is also fit for the never-gonna-be-rollbacked professional game?

5. Are you crawling back into our hearts, Rickie Fowler?

Have you noticed that Rickie is slowly, slowly creeping back to being very good? His finish at the Players was his worst of the year at T-42, but beyond that he has a top-10 at Bay Hill and a bunch of top-20s elsewhere. In the last year, he's gained about 70 spots in the OWGR. Should we be taking this seriously? Has he emerged from the place we thought he might be for the rest of his career, which is a kind of mid-level cruise control until he runs out of gas? He's changed all the clubs in his bag this year, his shoulder seems to be better and he's got some motivation these next two weeks, as the 37-year-old still just outside of a Masters berth. Our emotions are already entangled with the Spieth odyssey, but maybe there's room for one more mercurial talent with a last run still in his bones.

6. Who Are the Masters Hunters?

It's always fun to watch guys grind like crazy in these last few weeks to get a Masters berth, so who should we be looking for? Well, first off, anyone who wins, because that's an automatic entry. Then there is the March 29—this Sunday—for guys to get last-minute invites via for being inside the top 50 of the Official World Golf Ranking. So who is on our radar? Fowler (probably has to win), Pierceson Coody (ranked 51st), and Michael Thorbjornsen (56th). On the flip side, Nicolai Hojgaard, ranked 47th, needs to hold on for one more week since he's not yet qualified, and though it's highly unlikely that he'll fall four spots, it would be a sneaky horrible feeling to miss the cut in Houston and have to wait it out for two days. Especially because his brother Rasmus is already in ... you can't have your stern Danish parents saying Rasmus is the better twin. (Note: No idea if their Danish parents are stern, but better safe than sorry.)

7. Ranking the Sponsor's Exemptions

Texas Guy, old — Bronson Burgoon
Texas Guy, young — Cole Hammer
Good - Mason Howell — 18 years old, reigning U.S. Am champ, love to see the young guns get a crack (and it's a test run before he plays at the Masters)
Best - Trey Mullinax — Why is he the best? Well, because of this story, that not enough people know (pasted from Wiki):

In May 2019, at the Charles Schwab Challenge's pro-am round, Mullinax got a concussion from a golf ball. Although he initially recovered and made the cut for the tournament, he struggled and missed every other cut in 2019, and got diagnosed with convergence insufficiency as complications from him playing through the injury.

Insane! Gotta be a Mullinax fan after that.

8. Golf Tweet of the Week: John Daly Eating It

It's a sad fact of life that it's funny when somebody falls down. I have been laughed at for falling, you probably have too, and we have all laughed at others. So when John Daly fell in the desert, there was a 100 percent chance it was going to be hilarious. In fact, it was even better than hilarious, because he fell down a hill and a couple other guys fell in after him. The good news is, he wasn't hurt, and he posted it on his own Instagram account to "Jackass" music, which means we can all laugh guilt-free:

9. One Normie Pick, One Weird Pick

I like Gotterup over Lee and Sam Burns, for all the usual reasons, but using the Bashers Theory, I'll take Michael Brennan for my off-the-wall pick. He's had a tough year, including a weird DQ at the Farmers, but he's the third-longest driver on the PGA Tour and not that far removed from his red-hot 2025 fall. A course you can overpower is the perfect time for a comeback.

10. Rogue Non-Golf Thought: There is no feeling like having your ears unclogged

Look, I don't know if this too personal or if some people will find it unpleasant or whatever, but [Norm MacDonald Larry King voice] FOR MY MONEY, one of the best sensations you can have as a human being is unclogging your ears after a months-long wax buildup. One moment you live in a muffled world, like your entire head is inside a sack, and the next it's an auditory explosion where you can hear every sound within five miles. You're a superhero at that point; you can count the crickets on a front yard 10 houses away. It's mildly frightening how loud everything is. (Also, if I can be extremely real for a moment and risk alienating you forever, there's something viscerally satisfying about the wax coming out.) My DIY method of unclogging ears is highly discouraged by the medical community so I won't say it here—I don't want to be sued by a dozen readers with blown ear drums—but next time you're at a primary care appointment, ask for this, and experience a paradise of sound.