The 13 types of singles you get paired with at the golf course

There are few uncertainties in golf more daunting than playing with a single. Who is this person? Will I like them? Will they like me? If it’s golf’s version of a blind date, it might be even more fraught because it goes on for hours and you can’t just sneak out a back door.

Often, singles fall into certain categories:

1. The visiting single here on a business trip/family wedding/kids’ baseball tournament; honestly has friends, just not here.

2. The social misfit no one wants to play with, might be a fugitive of the law.

3. The single who hits it 290 with a tight draw, skulls every wedge, could be anywhere between a scratch and a 20-handicap.

4. The single who you establish went to high school with your cousin so you spend the next four hours referencing people you both only kind of know.

5. The single who asks you probing questions about your life and your work, and is now making you re-think everything.

6. The traditionalist single who doesn’t approve of swearing, drinking or your cavity-backed irons.

7. The single who asks you to video all their swings for Instagram.

8. The single who brings their own cooler of beer, makes veiled references to a loveless marriage, is clearly happy to be anywhere but home.

9. The single who immediately wants in on all of you and your friends’ inside jokes, doesn’t quite get any of them.

10. The single who you connect with instantly, gives you a hug along with their contact information to plan a future golf trip, and then you both walk blankly by one another the next day.

11. The single who wanted to be a single all along and resents your presence, is constantly looking to break away.

12. The single on a peculiar year-long quest to walk 10,000 miles/break 80/play every course with this strain of zoysia greens.

13. The single who tells you their score after every hole, but you didn’t realize you were playing a match and is now expecting his $100.