Ever since Chubbs Peterson convinced Happy Gilmore to trade his Bruins sweater for a sweater vest, golf and hockey have been irrevocably intertwined—an odd couple united by apparatus, cultural dissimilarity, and the comedy therein. Now, as the Canadian Open and Stanley Cup Finals collide, we put on our thinking and drinking caps, imagining what some of the PGA Tour's top pros would look like if they picked up a different sort of stick all those years ago. Needless to say, the country club ain't gonna know what just hip checked it.
Name: Rickie Fowler
Team: Fargo Woodchippers
Urban Legend: The real-life inspiration for Billy from Stranger Things.
Name: Dustin Johnson
Team: Vegas Blackjacks
Urban Legend: The son-in-law of Wayne Gretzky.
Name: Tony Finau
Team: Gainesville Gatorcats
Urban Legend: Was born with that beard.
Name: Francesco Molinari
Team: Tucson Glaciers
Urban Legend: Once took his skate off and tried to stab somebody with it.
Name: Brooks Koepka
Team: His own
Urban Legend: His heart was stopped by a slap shot five years ago and never restarted.