2019 Canadian Open

What PGA Tour pros would look like if they played in the NHL instead

June 5, 2019
HAPPY GILMORE, Adam Sandler, 1996, (c) Universal/courtesy Everett Collection
©Universal/Courtesy Everett Col

Ever since Chubbs Peterson convinced Happy Gilmore to trade his Bruins sweater for a sweater vest, golf and hockey have been irrevocably intertwined—an odd couple united by apparatus, cultural dissimilarity, and the comedy therein. Now, as the Canadian Open and Stanley Cup Finals collide, we put on our thinking and drinking caps, imagining what some of the PGA Tour's top pros would look like if they picked up a different sort of stick all those years ago. Needless to say, the country club ain't gonna know what just hip checked it.

Name: Rickie Fowler

Team: Fargo Woodchippers

Urban Legend: The real-life inspiration for Billy from Stranger Things.

Name: Dustin Johnson

Team: Vegas Blackjacks

Urban Legend: The son-in-law of Wayne Gretzky.

Name: Tony Finau

Team: Gainesville Gatorcats

Urban Legend: Was born with that beard.

RELATED: Peter Kostis breaking down Happy Gilmore’s swing in slow motion is the next-level analysis we need

Name: Francesco Molinari

Team: Tucson Glaciers

Urban Legend: Once took his skate off and tried to stab somebody with it.

Name: Brooks Koepka

Team: His own

Urban Legend: His heart was stopped by a slap shot five years ago and never restarted.

MORE FROM THE LOOP
The Most Excruciating Time of the Year

Ranking the sickest, sappiest, all-around worst holiday commercials of 2019

December 5, 2019
Ron This Town

In Memoriam: Riverboat Ron Rivera

December 3, 2019