The Winnipeg Jets have a new security puppy and they want help naming it OMG

November 07, 2017

Just when you were finally getting over that Caps canine calendar and getting back to your log-splitting, oil-changing, awesome alpha self, the Winnipeg Jets had to come along and f—k it all up with the unveiling of their new security pup who presumably plans to disarm would-be criminals via a lethal combination of sad eyes and tennis ball slobber.

As you’ve no doubt already noticed from the above tweet, this is far more than just an emotionally manipulative engagement goldmine, however—it’s also a chance to help name this ferocious attack dog. This is not some summer of '69 free-for-all, though, so take it somewhere else Footy McFooty Face. If you're going to offer your opinion, the Jets kindly suggest you pick from one of the following options:

Benny: The name of the Jets’ original 80s- and 90s-ers mascot.

Lenny: A tribute to Len Kropioski, WWII veteran and longtime Jets season ticket holder who passed away at the age of 98 before last season.

Kroppy: Same as above, only much, much worse.

Ducky: The nickname of legendary Jets forward Dale Hawerchuk.

Scout: The name of my childhood dog, in case you're wondering how me and my fifty-one egg avatars are voting.

If you’re interested in contributing to this noble cause, polls close Wednesday night at 11:59pm CT (cue acute November 8th PTSD).