Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

The Texas Rangers setting up a fake crime scene to troll Joey Gallo for tripping is murder in the first degree

In the bottom of the third inning versus the Yankees on Monday, Joey Gallo stepped to the plate. A few pitches later, Gerrit Cole wound up and spiked one low and inside for ball four. It missed everybody and went to backstop, at which point Gallo casually tossed his bat aside and began trotting to first before realizing no Yankee had gone after the in-play ball. Attempting to run up through the gears and stretch it to two, Gallo missed a shift or two, fried the clutch, and tripped, with both feet, over the bag at first before turning crawling hand and knees in the dirt back to safety. Needless to say, it wasn’t the Rangers’ left fielder’s finest athletic moment.

The Rangers would go on to win 5-2, but if you thought Gallo was going to live down that third-inning tumble easily, think again. On Tuesday night, Gallo took the field at Globe Life Park to find this waiting for him.

We’ve seen plenty of 500-level beserker cave trolls in our days covering sports on the internet. We’ve seen proverbial bodies dragged through the virtual streets. But never, and we mean NEVER, have we seen a dagger like this. This is straight out of your wacky neighbor’s Halloween prop closet. It’s ‘Law & Order: SVU’ without the theme song. And it’s all to make fun of one of your star players tripping. That, folks, is what we in the industry call “teambuilding.”

Unfortunately for the Rangers, they would still lose 7-4, but look on the brightside: At least nobody tripped.