It has come to our attention that Steph Curry owns Anthony Davis

January 19, 2021

Harry How

Look, I didn't expect this either, okay? Curry is a tiny wizard point guard (note: taller than me) and AD is a giant shot-blocking machine. Both are NBA champions, both are great, both play very different games. But it has become apparent that despite filling disparate roles on a basketball court, their stars have aligned often enough to determine conclusively that Curry absolutely owns the big man.

Take last night. With the Warriors trying to complete their comeback against the Lakers from a deficit that had been as large as 19, Curry found himself one on one against Davis with a minute left, Warriors down two. Here's what happened:

In slo-mo:

The Warriors went on to win by two, and that wasn't the only moment of ownage. Watch what Curry did to AD on the dribble earlier in the game:

Just call that dude Elsa, because he got FROZEN. (Sorry, I've been watching too many children's movies lately and I have literally no other pop culture references available).

"But hey," you say to me, using your best doubter's voice. "That's just one game."

In fact, no. Turns out, Curry has been owning AD for some time now. Thanks to user GSWChris, we now have a historical compilation of every time he's drained a bucket in AD's face, going back to Pelican days, and the evidence is compelling:

Clearly, Curry is a shark who smells blood every time AD gets switched on to him, which is funny because Davis is genuinely one of the greatest defenders in the NBA and maybe even one of the greatest in history. The way Curry has decimated him feels almost personal (cue MJ meme), like he's fighting some secret war even AD probably doesn't know about.

Whatever the secret animus, if any, it's a blast to watch, and I would pay at least $50 to watch a pay-per-view one-on-one game between the two. Obviously AD would have the enormous advantage, but there's something about Curry that makes me think that if he got the ball first under make-it-take-it rules, he might never miss. For reasons we may never understand, Davis brings out the best in him, and his best is very, very good.