Shaq used up every nickname known to man, now needs help naming his new puppy

December 07, 2017

So first things first: Shaquille O'Neal AKA Shaq AKA Shaq Fu AKA Shaq Diesel AKA Shaq Daddy AKA The Big Shamrock AKA The Big Aristotle AKA Wilt Chamberneezy AKA Dr. Shaquille O'Neal Ed. D. has a new puppy and it's predictably tiny and fluffy and adorable:

In addition to acquiring this future little good boy, however, Shaq also needs to name him and—seemingly low on creativity after years of nickname abuse—has turned to the Internet for help. In his introductory post, Shaq suggests Killer, but we, the pretending-to-listen-to-whoever-while-swiping-through-whatever masses of America can do better than that. In fact, I KNOW we can. So in that spirit, here are a few ideas that will should help to pop the plug on the ol' creative juice keg:



The Big Foul Shot


Bark Fu

Tim Donaghy Jr.

Fluffles McFluffle Face

The General

Icy Hot Patch


One of the dierwolves' names from Game of Thrones, idk.

Yep, so obviously some really good stuff here, but if you feel like you can hang with Fluffles McFluffle Face, feel free to ping The Big Cactus with your own pitches on Insta.