SAN FRANCISCO -- *Welcome to Olympic Club, where Webb Simpson became the ninth consecutive first-time major champion. A complete U.S. Open experience involves eavesdropping on spectator chatter. Below, some of the odd exchanges we overheard in the gallery on Sunday.
The galleries were packed on the 18th green on Sunday. (Photo by Getty Images)
*Woman: "So, you're a golfer?" Her female friend: "Yeah, and you?" Woman: "Heck no. When Bill plays golf, that's my alone time. And it's so much better than our together time."
Man standing near the second green, noting the pin that is tucked in the right front corner, behind the greenside bunker: "Pretty ideal pin placement, huh?" Hi buddy: "Sure, if you're a glutton for punishment."
Spectator, observing the increasing fog: "If this fog keeps rolling through, they better start playing with yellow balls." His buddy: "Stop saying yellow balls, bro."
Spectator, watching Sergio Garcia: "All the chicks just like saying, 'Ser-geee-oohh! Ser-geee-Oohh!' I'd have way more game if I just change my name."
Man standing in front of the second tee box: "See that tree right there? From the tee, it gets in the way of your eye. Your visual eye." His buddy: "As opposed to your audio eye?" Man: "Jerk, you know what I mean."
Young, attractive marshal working on second fairway: "I didn't bring my jacket, so I'll have to do some jumping jacks to stay warm." Woman: "Oh, I'm OK with that."
Spectator, dressed in a Tiger uniform (seriously, a Tiger costume): "Tigerrrr! Today I am you, Tigerrrr!" Man standing next to him: "But you're not wearing red. You've gotta wear red." Tiger-man: "The red is in my bloooooood."
--Man, to his buddy: "Some day, you can tell your children that Tiger got spanked by a 17-year-old kid with braces and a stand bag."
--Spectator, standing behind the eighth green: "This hole has played easy all day. Even TIGER got his first birdie here."
--Obnoxious spectator, after Fredrik Jacobson hits: "GRAVY MEATBALLS!" Same spectator, after Lee Westwood hits: "CHICKEN SOUP!" Normal spectator: "When will these morons realize that yelling random pieces of food isn't funny at all? It's actually unfunny. Opposite of funny. Negative funny."
--Woman: "Why did we just hear that roar?" Man, who is listening to golf coverage on ESPN radio (which has commercials): "Not sure, but I can tell you all about this medication that controls uric acid."
--Spectator, standing near the 16th tee: "Tiger's coming, that's why all these people are here. He could play like sh-t for the next 10 years and still lure a healthy crowd."
--Man, walking down the 16th fairway: "It's crazy that Tiger was standing just 10 feet away from me. He's one of the most well-known people on the planet. Not the world, the PLANET."
--Spectator, noting Padraig Harrington's unusual pre-shot routine: "Harrington looks like he's about to do a pirouette. Or sprint. Or anything but swing a club."