SAN FRANCISCO -- Welcome to Olympic Club, where greens are slippery and pars feel like birdies. A complete U.S. Open experience involves eavesdropping on spectator chatter. Below, some of the nutty exchanges we overheard in the gallery on Friday.
The eighth hole was a popular gathering spot on Friday. (Photograph by Getty Images)
--Obnoxiously loud man, standing by the mound to the right of the eighth green: "I like being the loud one here. All of you people around me will be like, 'Damn, that dude was crazy like Tupac!'"
--Man standing behind the eighth green: "Wooowww, look at all these people! What's going on here?!" His buddy: "We're at the U.S. Open, dude."
--Man, talking to Tommy Biershenk after his ball settled on a slope on the eighth green: "Mark that sh-t before it moves, Tommy. Mark. That. Sh-t."
--Woman, to man standing by the seventh green: "Phil is on the tee." Man: "Protect yourself."
--Man standing by the ninth fairway, talking about Tiger: "He's bogeyed three holes in a row. What a loser." Woman next to him: "Yeah, right. HE'S the loser."
--Spectator sitting on the mound to the right of the eighth green: "This hole shreds golfers to pieces and pulverizes them into a pulpy juice."
--Man standing behind the eighth green: "Mickelson almost hit the cameraman." Woman next to him: "That's good news for the cameraman. He probably got a good shot."
--Spectator, after Tiger three-putted the seventh green from six feet: "He just bogeyed a birdie shot."
--Man standing by the ninth tee box, watching Tiger tee off: "Michael Jordan, check. Tiger Woods, check. Muhammad Ali is next, baby!"
--Boy, watching the Tiger-Phil-Bubba pairing by the ninth green: "Dad, why are we watching this group? I can't see anything." Dad: "Because it's Tiger." Boy: "But I can't see him." Dad: "But he's there. And he's Tiger."
--Spectator, watching Sergio walk down the first fairway: "He looks like a canary. Like a thin, Spanish canary."
--Man, sitting in the bleachers behind the ninth green: "Philllll! Philllll! I want to have your babies, Phillll!"
--Man, to woman: "Did you hear that, hon? A 17-year-old is in the lead." Woman: "Let's go watch him!" Man: "No way. By the time we get to no. 3, he'll be yesterday's news."
--Guy: "Do you think Tiger is a beer man or a wine man?" His buddy: "Sh-t, that dude probably drinks firewater, straight up."
--Man, noting Graeme McDowell's pink pants as McDowell walked to the third tee: "Those pants burned my retina."
Related: Overheard in Thursday's gallery