Eye Poison

Nike just dropped blue-and-yellow Red Sox uniforms, which are somehow even worse than they sound

April 06, 2021

Alternate jerseys have been popular across sports for a while now—the Atlanta Hawks were the first to don a third jersey in the NBA with a neon green version during the 1970–71 and ’71–'72 seasons. In many cases, they are gorgeous and timeless throwbacks that evoke memories of another era. Some are executed better than others, particularly since the explosion of third, fourth and fifth jerseys in more recent years, but many hit the mark.

Then there’s lineup of the just unveiled Nike MLB City Connect uniforms.

Among the teams featured in the initial seven-team rollout from the Swoosh are the Arizona Diamondbacks, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Los Angeles Dodgers, Miami Marlins, San Francisco Giants. I’m a Cubs fan, so look forward to seeing that.

“Nike MLB City Connect Series honors the history that binds club, fan, city and culture,” Nike said. “In later seasons, the City Connect Series will appear league-wide.”

So what exactly do these slick new unis look like? Tuesday we got a look at the Boston Red Sox new ensembles . . . which appear to have nothing to do with the Sox, past or present. The jersey is yellow, the lettering is pale blue and the hat pale blue with yellow highlights.

As Darren Rovell points out, the “colors here obviously inspired by Patriots Day & Boston Marathon.”

Yes, so obvious! (Eye roll emoji)

As provincial as baseball is, this is like the 1 percent of the 1 percent of obvious, and a fittingly very Massachusetts move. For the rest of us, Boston’s city flag is pale blue and yellow and the city’s marathon uses the same color scheme. The marathon takes place on Patriots’ Day—another Mass (and Maine)-only holiday celebrated the third Monday every April—with a Red Sox game taking place at Fenway Park afterward. In these garish uniforms, apparently.

Enjoy, Boston.