NHL asks Brad Marchand to stop licking, cuddling, and being generally creepy

Brad Marchand is the NHL's creepy uncle— a mosquito on skates whose chosen method of annoyance is to squeeze, lick, kiss, and otherwise harass fellow players at their place of work. In case you haven't been keeping up with the news, that shit doesn't fly anymore, and now NHL HR is putting their foot down, telling Marchand to please knock it the heck off, eh (because Canada).

All of this was came about after an incident in game 1 of the Bruins first round matchup with the Toronto Maple Leafs in which Marchand slipped Leafs defenseman Leo Komarov some tongue in the middle of a damn game:

As for Marchand's response to the incident? Well let's just say this dude definitely owns a windowless van...

In the end, we hope this convinces Marchand to keep his grubby mits and disease ridden lips to himself, but if the world has taught us anything, he'll probably just get better at hiding it. Meanwhile, in NBA news, sources tell us Lance Stephenson has turned off his phone:

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