Super Bowl LIE

NFL Network commercial celebrates Patriots' Super Bowl LIII victory...on Friday

February 4, 2019

Skeptics, conspiracy theorists, deep staters, Saints fans, and tinfoil hat enthusiasts gather round. We have a new one for you. On Friday, February 1st, 2019—two weeks removed from an NFC Championship pass interference debacle that had Big Easy sleuths digging up the SoCal addresses of an entire officiating crew—NFL Network debuted a brand-new commercial congratulating the Patriots' on their Super Bowl LIII victory...48 hours before kickoff.

Suffice to say, Office Max saw a big run on red markers this weekend...

Now, we're not saying the NFL rigged the Super Bowl (even though Todd Gurley's one first down run of the night was brought back on a phantom holding call) or that there's even any any bias (despite the fact a guy who was suspended four games for PED use earlier this season won Super Bowl MVP without so much as a "random" drug test). But tied up in a boiler room somewhere deep inside NFL HQ, there's an associate commercials coordinator who has answers. By tomorrow morning, his social security number will be scrubbed from government databases and the trail will go cold, but take solace in the fact that somebody on this giant football in the sky knew the truth.

RELATED: A rundown of all the times Boston has been caught cheating

Of course, we here at The Loop, encourage you to think for yourself and make your own judgements calls. If you want to ignore Spygate and Deflategate and HeadsetGate and the fact a guy who was federally indicted for selling medication he claimed cured cancer (but actually didn't) feeds Tom Brady mystery pills by the spoonful, go ahead. Bury your head in the Cape Cod sand. But where there's smoke, there's generally fire, and something tells us the Pats will be burning in it for all of eternity.

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