CelebrityJune 13, 2014

Martin Kaymer is NOT helping NBC, but here are 11 ways to improve the network's weekend golf ratings

By Alex Myers

Thanks to Martin Kaymer, NBC's final broadcast of the U.S. Open over the weekend could have less drama than one of the network's sitcoms. Unfortunately for golf fans, the most anticipated part of Johnny Miller and the gang's sign-off could be how they actually sign-off.

Related: Our favorite Johnny Millerisms

But if NBC is up for being really creative, there are still some ways to help improve the low ratings that are bound to come from a German running away with America's national championship. Here are our ideas:

  1. Put microphones on all of the players.

  2. Have a PGA Tour WAGs cam.

  3. Get Jimmy Fallon to do the first-tee introductions.

  4. Have the cast of "Parks and Recreation" work as on-course reporters.

  5. Replace all of the standard bearers with Miss America contestants.


  1. Get Yanni to perform "In Celebration of Man," NBC's U.S. Open theme song, on loop behind the 18th green with a full orchestra.

Related: What will happen to NBC's U.S. Open theme song?

  1. Have Roger Maltbie heckle Kaymer on every shot.

  2. Have Johnny Miller sing current top-40 requests from the audience.

  3. Convince the USGA to put windmills to putt through on the greens.

  4. Promote a rematch wrestling match between Mike Davis and "Jungle Bird."

  5. Do live look-ins from Tiger Woods' living room.

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