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The Loop

Glass Case of Emotion

Porsche European Open winner Marcus Armitage delivers tear-jerking interview of the century . . . also Zooms with his dog

June 07, 2021

Winning on a professional sports circuit is a rollercoaster—a glass case of emotion, if you’ll accept the Ron Burgundy-ism. There’s the triumph and validation sure, but also relief and exhaustion and the immediate, flooding reminder of everything you had to give up along the way. What we often mistake for tears of joy as some steely-eyed assassin sobs like a infant in the winner’s circle are really just tears of everything coming out all at once.

We wouldn’t exactly call European Tour pro Marcus Armitage a steely-eyed assassin, but on Sunday after claiming his first-ever European Tour win at the Porsche European Open, the sprinkler system fired up all the same, as big-hitting Brit remembered his late mother and congratulated himself on all his hard work over the years (something we could all be better at it). It was as touching an interview as they come and a must-watch for all the strivers, grinders, gutters, and gritters out there.

Not a dry eye in the clubhouse, nor should there be. But if you know anything about Armitage—a guy last seen hitting naked putts in his hotel room and flying a 300-yard drive into the back of a speeding BMW—you know that he’s usually producing laughs not tears. Thankfully, he delivered on that as well, jumping on a Zoom call with his dog (yes, a literal canine) a few short moments later. Let’s lighten the mood, shall we?

Remember that one time you accidentally unmuted a work call and everyone heard calling your cat The Great Centurion Warrior Snowball McFlufflebutt? Well, that’s pretty much what Armitage is doing here, only in front of the entire world. Not that it will bother him one bit. First of all, we already covered the naked-putting-video thing. Second of all, he just validated his entire life with 72 holes of golf. When you’ve come that far, done all that, and sobbed in front of a stranger holding a microphone, you’ve earned the right to baby-talk your dog on Skype. Those are the rules, folks.