Kris Bryant promised his newborn son he would hit a home run last night and guess what . . .

August 04, 2020

Kris Bryant has been a proud papa for a few months now, but on Monday night he learned the true magic of fatherhood as a rich, successful, tall, dark, handsome, World Series-winning professional baseball player. Before the Cubs’ tilt against the Patrick Mahomes-owned Royals, Bryant promised his son Kyler (I know, a little much with the Ks) that he would hit a home run for him. Seven innings later, in quite possibly his last at-bat of the night, Bryant delivered for his own little cub.

Pretty, pretty great. Here’s what Bryant had to say about the dad-energy dinger after the game.

Aww shucks. Not even Paul O’Neill catching a flyball in his hat can compete with that. ('Seinfeld' reference, you guys. Just roll with it.)

Bryant’s homer—his first of the year—was also big for the Cubs, giving the team’s leaky bullpen, one of the worst in the majors to start 2020, some much-needed breathing room. The Cubs would go on to win by the score of 2-0, improving their record to 8-2 and extending their NL Central lead to three games—or something in the vicinity of eight by normal MLB season proportions—less than two weeks into the season.

Obviously for safety reasons (and Mrs. Bryant), Kris won’t be letting the Cubs’ lineup rub Kyler's little magic bald head anytime soon, but the Cubbies may have found their new good luck charm all the same. Sorry Bill, there's always next year.