If Monty were to tweet
Daily Mail golf columnist Derek Lawrenson imagines the possibilities were Colin Montgomerie to embrace the Twitter craze:
"Bleepin' Jose bleepin' Maria bleepin' Olazabal. Running to newspapers, saying he doesn't want to be my deputy. Memo to Ollie: Manipulating press is my job."
"Bleepin' cameramen. Had a row with one in China. Well, had a row with one everywhere else in world, so why not?"
"What the bleepin' hell are you following me around today for? Don't you know I shot 75?"
"Shot 65. What do you mean I've only got 140 characters to explain such brilliance?"
-- John Strege