If Monty were to tweet

Daily Mail golf columnist Derek Lawrenson imagines the possibilities were Colin Montgomerie to embrace the Twitter craze:

"Bleepin' Jose bleepin' Maria bleepin' Olazabal. Running to newspapers, saying he doesn't want to be my deputy. Memo to Ollie: Manipulating press is my job."

"Bleepin' cameramen. Had a row with one in China. Well, had a row with one everywhere else in world, so why not?"

"What the bleepin' hell are you following me around today for? Don't you know I shot 75?"

"Shot 65. What do you mean I've only got 140 characters to explain such brilliance?"

-- John Strege