From most hungover to slowest eater, which Thanksgiving mainstay is your favorite golfer?

The doorbell is ringing, the turkey is in the oven, and the whole damn golf world is coming for Thanksgiving. So what should you expect from your favorite golfers-turned-terrifying Turkey Day archetypes? As it turns out, a little bit of everything (and A LOT bickering too).

Most likely to complain about his seat: Patrick Reed

Most hungover: Eddie Pepperell

The dietary restrictions minefield: Gary Player

Has been giving you a scientific explanation of tryptophan for 10 consecutive minutes now: Bryson DeChambeau

Just burned down the garage with his zero-gravity turkey fryer: Has anybody seen Bryson? He was here just a second ago…

Most over-the-top blessing before dinner: Jim Nantz

Wants to know if you're interested in a hot stock tip to go with that pie: Phil

Just kicked nana in the head: Also Phil

Says your wine would be “good to cook with”: Miguel Angel Jimenez

Icing the hammy he pulled in the backyard football game with the frozen peas: Jason Day

The too-much-PDA couple: Molliwood

Worst guy to get stuck in a conversation about the geo-political implications of American neo-socialism with: Dustin Johnson

Just ate the last roll: Beef

Won’t turn off the parade for football: Bubba Watson

Needs everybody to know he just came from the gym: Brooks Koepka

Showed up in his Ferrari though it’s a blizzard: Ian Poulter

Playing dead-leg and making fart noises in the middle of grace: SB2K

Guy who's STILL not done with dinner: Kevin Na

Is actually going to make everyone go around the table and say what they're thankful for: Matt Kuchar