To The Victors Go the Spoils

Ed Orgeron celebrates National Championship with well-deserved booger snack

January 14, 2020

Listen, we don't want to take any shine off what Ed Orgeron's LSU Tigers accomplished this year. They became they first SEC team to go 15-0. They fostered the development of a Heisman-winning quarterback and presumptive number-one overall pick. They beat Alabama and Auburn and literally everybody else on the way to their first National Championship since 2007. The talking heads are calling it "the greatest college football season of all time" and for once they're not wrong. Nothing can tarnish that. Let's get that straight. Buttttt when something like Coach O picking his nose and sneaking a booger snack just before the trophy ceremony drops in your lap, you're not NOT going to share it . . . right?

According to legend, Coach O subsists entirely on Red Bull and Gumbo (and that one time he ate five bowls of bison chili on a recruiting visit), but we now know the source of his true strength: Boogers. Good lord, we really wish we didn't have to write this, but we do.

RELATED: Coach O screams "ROLL TIDE, F--- YOU" in locker room, remains America's favorite college football coach

Unfortunately for America, this wasn't the only Booger in the Superdome on Monday night. Embattled Monday Night Football color analyst Booger McFarland also beamed in for the coin toss, prompting Twitter's usual bout of Booger bashing.

All in all, a big night for boogers in the Big Easy.

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