On a day when yet another cheating allegation was levied against the New England Patriots and accounts of their fans harassing Patrick Mahomes' girlfriend and brother so bad they had to be moved by security emerged, it's hard to imagine the Pats wouldn't be crowned Shitty Franchise of the Week for a record 1,200th time. But never one to be upstaged, even by the Dark Lord himself, Jerry Jones said hold my beer and cut Brett Maher on Monday afternoon after the Cowboys' embattled kicker spent the morning spreading holiday cheer to sick children and posing for Christmas photos with local hospital staff on behalf of his soon-to-be-former employer. Don't let the door hit ya, Brent!
See those photos? While Brian was being paraded around Dallas in a Cowboys jersey with his still-gainfully-employed teammates, deep within the bowels of Jerry World, Brad's walking papers were being shuffled, paper-clipped, and presumably faxed to members of the press. It's not like he doesn't deserve it—Bryce has missed 20-30 field goals this season, including 1 of his last 4 from over 40—but still, that's a harsh toke, man.
What's his name isn't the only one, however. It's been a historically crap-tastic year for NFL kickers, with the merry-go-around spinning out of control even in traditional special-teams safe havens like New England and Indianapolis. According to NFL research, through Week 8, things were already at an all-time low, and have only gotten worse since, thanks in large part to Joey Slye, who missed two extra points and this doozy against the Saint last month.
Despite all that, Slye didn't get canned an hour after trying to bring a little shred of happiness to a bunch of brave kids during the holidays. Instead his coach took the bullet for him while Jason Garrett polishes his headset in preparation for another weekend at the helm of America's Team. Needless to say, before you kidnap your boss for enrolling you in a jelly of the month club this festive season, you'd do well to remember the story of poor Brint Maher. Trust us, it can always get worse.