The Loop

Chris Simms' list of the top 10 QBs of all time should be punishable by prison sentence

December 17, 2019
Tennessee Titans 2011 Headshots


It's Tuesday, December 17th, and we are once again debating the top 10 quarterbacks of all time. Never mind the fact that it's played out. Never mind that all the current greats haven't changed greatness trajectories in years. Never mind that there are more pressing concerns—such as cheating and the playoffs—to worry about. We are bound by sports idiot code to re-litigate this entirely pointless debate because Drew Brees became the all-time NFL regular season passing touchdown leader on Monday night, tossing a fresh quartet of TDs to bring his to total 541 while also completing an NFL record 96.7% of his passes. The dual-record-breaking performance sparked the latest flurry of best-QB discussions, which would be unbearably redundant if it weren't for Chris Simms' hold-my-beer worthy entry into the category. Football jurors, please assemble for sentencing.

Sweet. Fancy. Moses. Aaron Rodgers. The greatest NFL quarterback of all-time? John Elway number two? Simms, you beautiful bastard, stir that pot. Elsewhere in this cursed top 10, we find Favre AHEAD of Marino, Montana behind both of them, Bradshaw and Stabauch in the boomer bracket, and finally the man of the moment, Brees, squeaking into the top 10. We're all for being a leader, not a follower, but being wrong just for the sake of being different isn't worth the ratio, Simms. Trust us on this one.

In Simms' defense, Mike Florio's competing tenner isn't much better, with both forgetting the guy who held the NFL's major passing records longer than any other—Fran Tarkenton—while also putting the guy who broke said records behind the NFL's forever king of INTs (assuming Jameis doesn't make it another 9 seasons, which he won't.) Also, pardon our french, but Otto f—king Graham? Climb down off the Penny Farthing and get your stuff together, Mike.

Making matters even worse are the "well actually" takes from Team Brady, who have now figured out that TB12 has a whopping 37 more regular and postseason touchdowns than Brees. Run for the hills, Simms. Nothing can save you now.