Old Dog, New Trick

48-year-old Bartolo Colon pitched a complete game in Mexico this weekend, throwing 70 strikes on 90 pitches

There are two kinds of athletes: Guys like Bryson DeChambeau and Tom Brady, who treat their bodies like F1 cars, and guys like Bartolo Colon. But while the approach differs, when it comes to longevity, it’s a complete crapshoot. Crush all the ‘cado smoothies you want and sleep in space jammies every night, and you still might not outlast a guy who subsisted primarily on red meat and Winstons. Wade Boggs, a man who once purportedly drank 100 beers in a day, played from 1982 to 1999, after all. Those numbers shouldn’t add up, but for whatever reason they do.

All of which brings us back around to Big Sexy himself, who at 48 years and 19 days old, pitched an absolute gem in Liga Mexicana this weekend, hurling 70 strikes on 90 pitches on his way to a complete. deGrom who?

Pretty damn incredible from Colon, who painted each and every corner his signature heat all night long.

Colon retired in 2018 following 21 MLB seasons, but has pushed for a comeback in recent years, with videos of him tormenting hitters back in his native Dominican Republic regularly going viral. No major-league offer ever arrived, however, so eventually Colon took his talents to Acereros de Monclova, where he has proved he still has a little gas left in his extra-large tank. With the MLB trade deadline approaching and a few contenders in desperate need of another rotation arm (cough THE METS cough) maybe just maybe this is performance that brings Big Sexy back to the big time.