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Noted great guy Aroldis Chapman threw a 101-mph fastball at Mike Brosseau’s head last night

September 02, 2020

Remember that time back in 2016 when Aroldis Chapman allegedly choked his girlfriend, pulled out a handgun, and fired eight shots inside his house (one of which went out a window and struck a field next door, where it could have killed anyone) and then made sure to apologize “only” for the gun part? Remember when the New York Yankees signed him to a five-year, $86-million contract six weeks later? Well if you don’t, perhaps Tuesday night, when Chapman—one of the hardest throwers in MLB history—whizzed a 101-fastball straight at Mike Brosseau’s skull, initiating a benches-clearing brawl in the middle of a highly contagious pandemic, will jog your memory.

Remember kids, if you swing on 3-0, SportsCenter will question the nature of your very being for 12 straight hours, but if you try to turn a division rival into a vegetable, you’re all good. It’s nice to see that even in 2020, baseball can teach America’s youth valuable lessons about life, in this case that shitty guys finish first.

Needless to say, Rays manager Kevin Cash was hot under the ol’ ballcap about one of his guys nearly getting decapitated while playing a kid’s game for reasons that are best summed up with a big old shrug emoji. Take it away, buddy.

As for Chapman, who knows what will happen. Maybe another suspension followed by another monster contract at a blueblood franchise. That’ll show him. But hey, at least he stepped up and owned it like an adult. Oh wait nevermind . . .