A friend of mine in high school once played so terribly in a tournament that, as soon as he got home, he threw his clubs in the garage and stormed away. His bag smelled really bad when he returned about a week later, and when he went investigating, it was because of the rotten banana he found smushed at the bottom of his bag. It ruined his grips, he needed to buy a new bag -- it was a whole thing.
That story was floating around in my mind when I put a related question to Reddit. The results were varied -- some of them unpublishable -- but all of entertaining. Here is a sample:
Question: "What's the strangest thing you've ever found in your golf bag?"
A Scotty Cameron Pitchfork Repair Tool
"I'm cleaning it up, turn it upside down because I could hear something rattling around, and out comes a NICE titleist scotty cameron ball mark repair tool."
The Makings Of A Crime
"Bought my bag used on craigslist...was giving the bag a through cleaning when I came across about an 1/8 of dirt weed and a metal pipe. smelled horrible."
"At the bottom... I found four putter covers, including the original I thought I had lost 16 months prior to finding it.."
More Putter Covers
"After reading this I checked my golf bag for a putter cover I thought I lost 3 years ago. Sure enough, it was in the bottom of the bag."
An Incriminating Cookie
"A half eaten cookie. Father of three kids."
"I was clearing out my high school bag my jr year and found my oakleys that I had lost, the cushion pad from hockey helmets, and apple flavored tobacco in my bag. I don't chew and haven't played hockey and years."
The Perfect Golf Tee
"A tee of appropriate length on the first try."
"A giant nest of black widows. Literally hundreds of them."
"I had an ex's thong in mine for a while."
"Batteries.....a bunch of them."
"I found a free swing sock that the retailer must have forgotten to take out of the bag before selling me the bag."
"A divorce letter"
"I work at a used sporting goods store, we found a music box in a used bag someone sold us."
A Bad Doughnut Situation
"My brother and my dad was on a golf trip a long time ago and he forgot a doughnut in the bag for about 6 moths, once he found it you could kill people with it."
"I was playing in a college and one of the guys from another school opens a pocket to get out another ball and a condom falls out."
"Old beers. I never usually leave soldiers behind."