People We Wish Played Golf
August 20, 2012
After a legendary stint by Bob Hope, Bill Murray is the resident comedian on the course these days, while Will Ferrel hosts his own charity tournament. But we'd like to see Zach Galifianikis add his name to the list of comedians who tee it up. His North Carolina heritage makes him the perfect comedic candidate for future pro-ams and a great one-two punch alongside Darius Rucker (aka Hootie of the Blowfish) for golf ambassadors of the Carolinas. And we can all agree no bachelor party is complete without a round of golf.
This is purely a PR move. Not to say we wouldn't want the "Born This Way" singer to enjoy herself on the links, but the sport could benefit from her more than 28 million Twitter followers -- the most by anyone to date. The next closest is Justin Bieber, who we already know is working hard on his golf game. Besides, golf hasn't had an army since Arnie's, so maybe it's time for some Little Monsters to roam the fairways.
The king of late night spoofing hasn't left golf off his target list, so we think it's only fair he takes a stab at playing the game if he's going to poke fun of it. All conservative pundits -- whether fictitious or not -- should be comfortable on the course, so we think it's almost necessary for Colbert to take up golf to stay true to his character.
John Daly aside, the PGA Tour could use Minaj's colorful sense of style.
If you need a reason why Kate Upton should take up golf, may we direct you to her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover. Ladies, you're in luck, Brad Pitt and David Beckham already play.
Snoop Dogg (Lion)
It might take him seven munchie-filled hours to complete his round, but Snoop will always remain calm and collected, even when playing poorly. Besides, we totally want to see the uncomfortable post-round interviewafter he plays in his first pro-am.
If you think Mitt Romney is fighting an uphill battle in his quest to become the 44th President of the United States, his lack of golf interest might be one of his biggest obstacles. Not since Jimmy Carter has there been a sitting president who didn't play, with 15 of the past 18 Presidents having enjoyed the game at some level. Conservatives might not want their candidate to play 100 rounds, but the ability to work his way around a course could work wonders for his campaign.
You'll never be the next Michael Jordan until you can play 36 holes the day before winning the Olympic gold medal.
Golf could use some cuteness. Wherever cute is needed, Zooey will be there.
Rivers would be to balance out Zooey Deschanel's cuteness.
Insane Clown Posse
While it would be fun to watch a bunch of Juggalos tee it up, this is more of a suggestion to the guys in the band to help their fans out: Nothing screams "we are not a gang" more than playing golf.
As someone who cares for tigers and pigeons, and having already proven his worth on Broadway, Mike Tyson is no stranger to success in varying arenas. Not only would he be one of the few facially-tattooed golfers out there, his Zen-like approach to life would be well served in the quiet surroundings of the golf course. But we ask that you please keep all ear-biting jokes to yourself.
Martha Stewart is a perfectionist who indulges in both the creative and cerebral, the ideal combination to succeed on the golf course. Not to mention, her inviting, warm demeanor would be a welcome addition on any golf telecast. A self-described "hero worshiper" who wants to see records broken, she would be perfect to narrate Tiger's pursuit of Jack's 18 majors. We're certain she would think "it's a good thing."