Hockey Heaven

This 93-Coors-Light Stanley Cup Finals receipt is a triumph of mankind

June 6, 2017

The Sistine Chapel. The Mona Lisa. The Scream. In the pantheon of human accomplishment, the halls are lined with the brushstrokes of the gods, and last night another freshly dried masterwork joined them: A $1,127-dollar, 93-Coors-Light Stanley Cup Finals receipt, plucked from an empty nacho basket in Nashville's Bridgestone Center for Hockey and Enlightenment like a newborn lamb.

Look upon it, mortal. Look upon it and weep.

From cheeseburgers and chicken fingers to 5 of something called "Bomb, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas, Vegas", all the hallmarks of divine inspiration are there—a fitting tribute by High Priest Rippy (of the Rippy's Ribs parish) to Lord Stanley himself. Whether or not this pilgrimage will be rewarded with ultimate hockey rapture is up to Him, of course, but certainly these humble Predators apostles have proven themselves worthy.


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