Extra Crispy

KFC's new clothing and accessories line is fashion lickin' good

July 12, 2017

If you've ever walked into a KFC and thought, "Boy, you know what would really bring this culinary experience to the next level? A gift shop full of themed trinkets and merch to get honey chipotle fingerprints all over," then today is your lucky day. The fried chicken conglomerate—presumably via a neural pathway that uses their proprietary gravy as a conduit (our scientists are still working on it)—has read your mind, launching their new KFC Ltd. line of apparel, accessories, and home goods into the chicken-gorged stratosphere today.

If this all sounds a little stupid, that's because it is, or rather, would be, if it weren't executed with the sense of humor (and yes, even style) that KFC Ltd. brings to the table (pun totally intended). Don't believe us? Doubt our earnestness? Too deliriously chicken starved to tell fact from fiction? Then just let the collection's highlights do the talking:

Fall is coming, so you're going to need a good crewneck sweatshirt. Get this one so when people ask you where you found it you can just say "KFC".

Vintage is always in, as Brooklyn's five jabillion vintage stores and this straight-outta-72 tee will attest. Plus, now you can both look like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed & Confused and make disgusting jokes about finger licking like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed & Confused.

Hey punk rocker, looking for some new patches for that denim jacket? Great, because these Zinger 1 Mission patches are out of this world. Sure, your vegan friends will hate them, but they hate everything anyway.

More of an enamel pin guy/gal? No worries. They obviously have those too.

If you've been looking to turn your love life up to "Extra Spicy", a set of Colonel Sanders pillowcases for you and the missus (or mister) are a must. Once the rapturous interlude is over, they will also lull you to sleep with dreams of, uhh, juicy thighs and, umm, giant breasts.

This is a print of mashed potatoes. Go f—k yourself, Warhol.

Have you recently come into some money but hate cars, houses, traveling, drugs, horse racing, the stock market, and pretty much anything else people like to throw $100 bills at? Then perhaps this $20,000 meteorite carved in the shape of chicken sandwich—something KFC is actually really selling (we think)—is your kind of splurge.


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