Golf Tours & NewsDecember 11, 2013

The Best Dan Jenkins Tweets Of 2013

Golf Digest's Dan Jenkins, aka "The Ancient Twitterer", on the highs and lows of this year's major championships

MASTERS

Saw Colin Montgomerie looking for gifts in the golf shop, but they're already out of majors for guys who have never won one.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 10, 2013

Arnie's guy at IMG, Alastair Johnston, on fans reacting as Palmer rode by in a cart: "It's like going to Disney World with Mickey Mouse."

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 11, 2013

Tianlang Guan is 14 and is one over par after 13 holes. When I was 14, I had a car and was chasing girls.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 11, 2013

Tiger missed a chance to enhance his legend. It would've been bigger for him to withdraw with honor than to continue playing under a cloud.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 13, 2013

We golf writers, who occasionally question the intestinal fortitude of the players we cover, have packed the media center. It's raining.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 14, 2013

U.S. OPEN

I wanted to go to the 1950 U.S. Open at Merion, driving at 6 cents a mile. My paper said that was too expensive. Haven't missed one since.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 13, 2013

Lindsey Vonn to Tiger after his 76: "Did you, like, miss a gate on the course or something?"

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 15, 2013

Watching Tiger here, the question is shifting from whether he'll surpass Nicklaus' record to whether he'll win another major.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 16, 2013

Charl has made three bogeys and a double in his last four holes. In South Africa, that's known as Schwartzeling your pants.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 16, 2013

The U.S. Open doesn't really begin until the field finishes vomiting on the front nine on Sunday.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 16, 2013

BRITISH OPEN

After that exotic warm-up dance by Miguel Angel Jimenez, I'm expecting him to show up tomorrow wearing pantless chaps.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 19, 2013

I found something I wrote at the Open years ago, only to see that the line was mangled. Forty years later, the comma police strike again.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 19, 2013

A guy just asked me, "Did Hogan ever wear red pants?" Only with a gun to his temple.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 20, 2013

Little-known bonus in the event of a Westwood-Poulter playoff: Winner gets to name the royal baby.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 21, 2013

Hate to see Adam Scott make 4 straight bogeys after 4 straight to finish last year. Given that, a green jacket makes a pretty good blanket.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 21, 2013

Phil said he hit two of the best 3-woods of his life at 17. I wonder how many majors he'd have if he never carried a driver. Half-kidding.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 21, 2013

PGA CHAMPIONSHIP

Nobody can make me understand how a golfer who hasn't won a major in five years can be No. 1 in any kind of golf ranking.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 10, 2013

To the Twitterers who say majors aren't everything, ask Greg Norman how many of his Dorals he'd trade for a green jacket.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 10, 2013

I can't decide if it's easy or hard to imagine Jim Furyk with two majors.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 10, 2013

I hear Fox wants Greg Norman to be the new Johnny Miller. Greg should be able to handle the knowing choking when he sees it part.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 10, 2013

Does Rickie Fowler get his clothes out of a closet or the freezer section of the grocery store?

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 11, 2013

This just in: Auburn has completed an in-house investigation and found no evidence of any wrong-doing with Jason Dufner's PGA win.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 12, 2013