All of my teachers have been very understanding about my traveling and missing class. Except for one. In sixth grade, one teacher left a long message on our answering machine, telling us that if I intended to miss so many days I belonged in public school instead of private school. Some people just don't like athletes.
Global warming is a huge problem. Al Gore talks about it all the time. Have you seen "The Day After Tomorrow"? The huge hole in the ozone layer. Something has to be done about it.
You mean the PGA Tour media guide lists a player's weight and the LPGA Tour media guide doesn't? That's awesome. I think I'm overweight.
Riding in a cart is a lot more fun than walking. But only when my dad, who is the worst cart driver in the world, lets me drive.
Men on tour should be allowed to wear shorts when the temperature is in the 90s and it's humid. Gosh, the long pants are a health hazard when it's that hot. If I were one of those guys, I'd pass out. Or pretend like I was passing out, so they'd let me wear shorts.
By the time I'm old, golfers will be shooting 54s. You probably won't live to see it, but I'm sure I will.
One of the best times I've ever had was when JoAnne Carner invited me to join her for a practice round at the Dinah Shore. She is one of the most funny, honest, straightforward people I've ever met. She's so young at heart, so positive. And she hits the ball a mile. My favorite young golfer is Annika Sorenstam, but my favorite old golfer is JoAnne. I wouldn't mind getting older if I could be like her.
If I ever get bored with golf I'm going to start over and play left-handed. I have a pretty good swing left-handed already. I don't hit the ball far, but I'm a pretty good chipper.
I had a persimmon wood once. It felt so good when I hit it. The vibration that went through my hands was wonderful. Metal woods don't have that sweet feel. You can feel the face give a little at impact and can tell the ball really springs off the clubface. The persimmon feels better, but the metal woods perform better.
My autograph is ugly, but I like it. It'll be very hard to forge.
I don't mind it when I hit a ball into the woods. I think of it as an adventure. That's when golf really gets exciting and interesting.
If you're hitting the driver great and go to the range with a big bag of balls, you'll probably leave worse off than when you got there. My instructors, David Leadbetter and Gary Gilchrist, have said you can work flaws out of your swing by practicing, but you can also work flaws into your swing. If you're swinging well, skip the range and go to the short-game area.
My ball marker has a ladybug on it. If one lands on your putter, it's a sign you'll putt very well. They've landed on my putter many times; I seem to attract them. If you kill a ladybug, the red ones with black dots, you'll have bad luck forever.
The best thing about being six feet tall is, when I play to an elevated green I see where the ball winds up before anybody else. That's about it. I don't want to get any taller.
The worst thing about being tall? Little things. Like I went to the movies and asked the cashier for one children's ticket. She gave me a look and said, "That will be $8 please." That's the adult price. I said, "No, really, I'm a kid." She refused to believe me. And I didn't have any I.D. to prove it.
If I could do whatever I wanted to do this afternoon I'd go movie hopping. You know, go to a cineplex, buy one ticket and skip from one movie to another. That will be a challenge, tall as I am. And it's not totally honest. But if I'm paying the adult price, what the heck.
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