Have you seen Billy Casper lately? When his son was convicted for robbery and all that, it just took the life right out of him. When you think about the victims of crime, don't forget the parents. They suffer terribly, too.
Hootie Johnson made one key mistake in responding to the demand by Martha Burk that Augusta National admit women. He proceeded as though it were a legal issue, when in fact it is a moral issue. You can't win a battle over a moral issue, and it isn't hard to tell where the public's sentiments lie. The PGA Tour made a similar mistake on the Casey Martin case. When will they all learn?
Women's short games are not as good as the men's. Judy Rankin agrees with me. My theory is that girls are less likely to be dropped off at the golf course by their parents. So they don't spend the entire day practicing, playing and developing their imaginations.
I beat Ty Cobb, 7 and 6, in the first flight of the club championship at the Olympic Club when I was 12. He was a fierce competitor, and I remember him getting mad at himself for not playing better. But he was nice to me. He shook my hand. It was almost the last I saw of Mr. Cobb, because the guys at the club rode him unmercifully for losing to a child. He disappeared and didn't come back to Olympic for years.
I've had open-heart surgery, gall-bladder surgery, hernia, appendix — you name it. I've come to hate going to the doctor. Every time I go they find something wrong. If I showed up with a hangnail, they'd slow-play me with 40 tests just to make sure that's all it was. From now on, even if they find something terrible, I will refuse to have any more surgery, and I won't go through chemotherapy. So why even go, right?
If you're a youngster growing up putting on bad greens, be patient. Eventually you'll see some nice, smooth surfaces, and when you do, you'll hole everything.
Cary Middlecoff was a terrific, underrated player, but by the early '60s he was pretty much washed up. When they held the first Legends of Golf tournament in 1978, Doc came out of retirement to be my partner. His nerves were shot, but I shot 69 on my own ball the first day, and we were in good shape. Then I shot 33 on the front nine, and now it looked like maybe we could win — if I could get some help from Doc. So at the turn I told him, "I want you to go to the locker room and get a paper cup full of vodka. We have got to calm your nerves." Reluctantly, Doc disappeared into the locker room. He came out looking a lot healthier and hit a big drive down the 10th fairway, only 90 yards from the green. I drove my ball into a water hazard, so now it's all up to Doc. He took out his wedge, and after waggling it for a minute, he puts it back into the bag and pulls out a 5-iron. He then played a 90-yard chip shot that ran onto the green 18 feet from the hole and made the putt. I birdied the next hole, Doc birdies 12 and 13, and we're tied for the lead. We didn't birdie anything coming in, and we ended up finishing third. But Doc made the biggest check of his career, and you've never seen a happier guy.
Never tell a golf joke to a tour pro. He's heard it already.
What rule would I change? I think every golfer should keep his own scorecard. At the end of the round his fellow-competitor attests the card, and if the score is wrong, the player is banned forever. Simple, isn't it?
You can take Sinatra or leave him. But if you live in Palm Springs long enough, his stuff will grow on you.
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