The Year in Golf

EITHER SHOE IS FINE WITH US, REALLY
In a Men's Health survey, Tiger Woods finishes second behind George Clooney in "Shoes the average guy wishes he could step into."

PLEASE PROMISE US THIS WILL NOT END UP ON YOUTUBE.COM
News report: John Daly has a jam session at Kid Rock's place while bunking there during the Buick Open in Grand Blanc, Mich.

AND AS A BONUS, KID ROCK THREW IN SOME PAM ANDERSON HAND-ME-DOWNS!
After six sets of golf clubs are stolen from a high school team in Milan, Mich., Kid Rock offers replacements.

HIS ODDS WERE BETTER AT GETTING TIGER TO PUCKER UP TO PHIL
Tim Finchem urges Tiger Woods to give the FedEx trophy its first kiss. Tiger declines.

LEAVE THE DRIVING TO US
Accuracy-challenged Seve Ballesteros retires from golf and says he wants to compete in the Paris-Dakar Rally: "Maybe we end up in Kenya instead of Senegal."

I MEANT UNBEATABLE! UNBEATABLE! Rory Sabbatini loses to Tiger Woods after saying Woods is "more beatable than ever."

I'M MORE BEATABLE THAN EVER!
Rory Sabbatini, after finishing 21 over par at the U.S. Open at Oakmont: "The next time they have the Open here, I might go fishing."

SHOT OF THE YEAR
After Tiger Woods purchases 12 beachfront acres in Florida for $44.5 million and plans to raze an existing home, lightning hits and starts a fire that destroys the building, saving on demolition costs.

NOW ON THE TEE:
Borat! The European tour announces it will play a Kazakhstan Open in 2008.

MISCLUBBED BY HIS CADDIE AGAIN
Marc Warren, the 2006 European tour rookie of the year, needs stitches after smashing a chandelier while practicing in his hotel room. "I was using a 5-iron," Warren says. "It should have been a 6 . . . I would have missed it."

ISN'T STANFORD, LIKE, YOU KNOW, TOUGH ACADEMICALLY?
Michelle Wie, before starting classes at Stanford: "You have to go to high school. I have to wake up at 7:30. But college, you know, you can make your own schedule. You can learn whatever you want."

AMBULANCE TO TURN 1!
David Leadbetter, on the spectators before Wie's first round in the McDonald's LPGA Championship: "I hope they aren't NASCAR fans coming for a crash."

AND IN LATE SCORES, THE PLOUGHING CHAMPIONSHIP BEAT GOLF, 80,000-450
An estimated 80,000 agriculture fans attend Ireland's National Ploughing Championship while just down the road, an estimated 450 people gather around the 18th green during the Seve Trophy matches.

TELL GARY PLAYER TO MAINLINE ALL THE 'ROIDS HE WANTS
After Gary Player says he knows of golfers using steroids, European tour chief executive director George O'Grady, on Tiger Woods volunteering to be the first in line when golfers are tested: "If Tiger Woods' test comes back negative, what does it matter what the rest of them are on?"

TOUGH LOVE
Charles Howell III, on being the target of U.S. Presidents Cup captain Jack Nicklaus' legendary needle: "He went around and said, 'Zach [Johnson], great job winning the Masters, green jacket, that's fantastic, that's awesome. David [Toms], another solid season; you're another steady, steady player. Hunter [Mahan], you've really come along here lately; this is fantastic.' " Then Nicklaus looked over at Howell, who had not finished in the top 10 since March. "Charles, you need a lesson."

LOST IN TRANSLATION
The executive assistant to the editor of The Telegraph, after Jack Nicklaus stopped by the offices in London during the British Open: "I know he's a big star and all that, but what's Jack Nicholson doing with the sports desk?"

YOU'RE THE GREATEST! No, YOU ARE!
With the tennis and golf tours both in South Florida, world No. 1 Roger Federer has dinner aboard the Privacy--the yacht of world No. 1 Tiger Woods--and Woods goes to see Federer play after a round at Doral.

TIGER, I'M afraid AFTER THAT 43 YOU OWE ARNOLD $20 FOR THE SHOOTOUT
Tiger Woods makes two double bogeys and a triple bogey to shoot 43 on the back nine of the final round at Bay Hill.

THE NEXT STEP: A LOCAL RULE FOR THE HOMEBOY
Canadian Mike Weir shows up at Royal Montreal in a mock-neck shirt before the Presidents Cup matches and is forced to change before playing.

COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE
John Daly shoots a 67 in the first round of the PGA Championship after skipping practice rounds to spend time at a casino.

VLADIMIR PUTIN? JOHN McENROE? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!
Tennis star Maria Sharapova, listing "my top-10 dream mixed-doubles partners" on her website, makes Adam Scott No. 6, with the notation, "Night match, please?" Sharapova's top three: John McEnroe, James Bond and Russian President Vladimir Putin. Says Scott: "I'm not sure about her taste in men."

FOR $500, YOU CAN GET A DRIVER THAT HITS YOU IN THE HEAD
Gerald Ford's old golf equipment goes up for auction.

BROTHERLY LOVE
Bill Harmon, kidding his brother Butch as the family receives the Richardson Award for outstanding contributions to golf: "What we can't understand is how he keeps getting voted the best teacher in the world when he's the worst teacher in his family."

DEPRIVING US OF SCENE 1: RICKY BOBBY STREAKS AT AUGUSTA
Comedian Will Ferrell tours Augusta National and says that despite doing stock-car and figure-skating spoofs, he has no plans to make a golf movie.

AFTER THAT, MAYBE HE CAN GET THEM OFF THE GOLF COURSE
Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, during a campaign stop in Florida: "There's nothing as fuel-efficient as a golf cart. If I could just get every American to drive to work in a golf cart."

Photos above: Quigley, Creamer, Curtis, Roberts: Charles Laberge; Berman, Triplett: J.D. Cuban; Mickelson: Darren Carroll;Stewart: Patrick Hagerty