He Said, She Said: Should you play WITH or AGAINST your girlfriend?: #Reaction: Golf Digest

He Said, She Said: Should you play WITH or AGAINST your girlfriend?

Monday, July 16, 2012

In a weekly series called "He Said, She Said," Golf Digest Associate Editor Ashley Mayo will address your views on gender-related issues in golf. The former collegiate golfer is 27. She somehow maintains a 5 handicap despite living in Manhattan.

I’ve recently started “seeing” someone (those quotes are there for a reason), and we played our first round of golf together about a week ago. The thought of competing against each other never crossed my mind. He and I would play on the same team, against my two coworkers. Period. End of story.

But a few days after our round, a colleague told me that she and her husband always play AGAINST one another on the course. “We’d kill each other if we played on the same team,” she says.

So what’s the right approach? Play with each other and risk a team loss, or actively root against each other? The varied responses we received when Golf Digest asked the following question (on Facebook and Twitter) suggests there’s no right answer:

Let's say you're playing with your significant other and another couple. Do you and your significant other play WITH or AGAINST each other?
— Golf Digest (@GolfDigestMag) July 10, 2012

Hundreds of you weighed in, and the slight majority of you say that couples should play WITH each other.

@GolfDigestMag with. You always want to remain a team...and it can be a bonding moment
— C. Franks (@Franks_23) July 10, 2012

Exactly right, Franks. That’s why I’ve always preferred to play with my boyfriend. (In related news, that "boyfriend" word makes me queasy.) Winning is fun and losing has always indicated how we'll be able to handle tricky situations. (Better to find out on a golf course than anywhere else.)

@GolfDigestMag Definitely WITH - I would much rather lose with her than to her ;-)
— Martin Hansen (@_mth) July 10, 2012

You're a smart man, Martin. Clearly, winning or losing WITH her is much less painful than listening to her gloat or complain for the rest of the evening. Trust me.

Steve Groner, via Facebook: "Nothing good can come from either scenario."

I disagree, Steve. If you can’t handle a team loss on the golf course, it’s likely you won’t be able to handle mortgage payments, household chores and all those other fun particulars adult couples have to juggle.

@GolfDigestMag depends who gives you the best chance of winning
— paul burton (@cipherburton) July 10, 2012

Jason Newsome, via Facebook: "Against.... My significant other is still a beginner, and it would be easier to beat her than beat someone else with her."

Winning is not the point, Paul and Jason. If your girlfriend is a beginning golfer but she’s interested in playing with you, put your competitive flare on hold for one round and focus instead on helping her feel comfortable. (The fact that she's even interested in the sport means you've already "won." Don't mess it up.)

Danny McCann, via Facebook: "Both will lead to a fast divorce."

I’m pretty sure that if one round of golf spurs divorce, the relationship has much deeper problems.

Polycarp Odero Ongadi, via Facebook: "The best way to go about it is to let the ladies decide. It will be wiser that way."

I won't disagree here. Women like my colleague might genuinely prefer to play against their significant others, but part of me thinks that (deep down) most women would want nothing more than to hear their guys say, "Of course I want you to be my partner."

Ultimately, if you and your sweetheart play against each other, the car ride home will always be occupied by one winner and one loser. If you play with each other, that car will either transport two winners (success!) or two losers who can use their latest match to learn about one another and support one another. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

--Ashley Mayo

Follow @AshleyKMayo