Stina,Thanks, Jerry. You've calmed the debate down a bit. Here's a slightly different perspective, beyond the question of simple bias, which no doubt exists. Golf is a retreat. Meeting new people, especially people of the opposite sex, can be uncomfortable, the polar opposite of relaxation and retreat. So people avoid it, to their detriment. Getting out of your comfort zone, many wise men (and women) would suggest, is what keeps life interesting. I can hear the Church Lady: "Well isn't that special." But true. As for the Ladies Days, that's your private club trying to serve two generations. Difficult.
Thanks for the invitation to send you my thoughts.... I don't want to defend men or attack women. If truth is the protagonist in this note, then the antagonist would be bad conclusions drawn by your authors. I know they state up front that their work isn't scientific but that doesn't give them carte blanche to draw unfounded conclusions. They came with an agenda, a preconceived notion of what to expect, and they gathered "facts" to support their conclusion (yes, that's the wrong order for research), and they wrote the story that they were planning to write before they left the office. They interpreted every negative observation they had as negativity toward women.
For example, when the two guys "roared off down the fairway" before the undercover twosome could join them, it was assumed they were trying to escape the woman. They left the man behind also (hello, I'm not stuffed sausage here!) Perhaps they don't like to play with strangers? In fact, I'd bet a steak lunch that they don't like to play with strangers. Lots of people go to the golf course saying, "I hope they don't pair me with anyone." I have often gone as a single or as a twosome with my son. I find that people there as a twosome (either two men or a man and woman) often want to play alone. It is a meeting or a date of sorts. Even when I do get paired with them they often stay to themselves and have the conversation they were planning to have without me.
Singles, of course, are fine and threesomes are usually more friendly than twosomes (someone for the odd 3rd wheel to talk to? I don't know.) My 11-year-old son and I are just the opposite. We enjoy, and especially he enjoys, meeting and playing with new people. He is always disappointed when we aren't paired with someone else. But often people don't want to be paired with us. But no more than I find when I'm a single. I was at the club last Wednesday by myself on an unscheduled day off work. It isn't Ladies Days but there were women teeing off in several groups. I was looking for a game and tried to make eye contact with some of them. They all looked away, none invited me to play, and I went out as a single behind them playing 3 balls. Was this "women hating to play with men"? I doubt it. I've see the same thing happen with groups of men. If they've got a normal group they play with and you're not in it, you're likely to not be invited until you are introduced, preferably by one of the current members. This is just normal human social behavior and nothing to do with gender or golf. BTW, why do we have a Ladies Day at the club anyway? There is no "Men's Day," or is it inappropriate to ask? And before you say, "every day is Men's Day," let me remind you that a woman can make a tee time any time but I'm not allowed to make a tee time on Ladies Day. This is very inconvenient on weeks when my day off just happens to fall on Ladies Day. I can't play my own club. So what do I see when I see women on the course? Generally I see men NOT treating them as equals.
Men are more polite to women, quicker to forgive slow play or etiquette breaches, and more eager to chat with them than a random guy on the course. The guys I play with are very intolerant of slow play but I have yet to see them pushing a group of women like they do a slow group of men. I think I have figured out one time that men really don't want to play with my son and I'm sure it would apply to women as well--when they don't want to have to control their language. If they are a group of men whose primary golf time entertainment is constantly telling risque jokes laced with f-bombs, having a kid along just won't let them have their normal round of golf. Same would go for a woman. And if they were paired with a woman and continued with their normal weekly routine, we'd see letters to the editor about the rude and crass men who cursed repeatedly in front of the women they were paired with. So I can see their point in this case. Usually this type of tight knit men's group will fill up the foursome and avoid awkward situations but could have last minute cancellations. Sometimes they are a twosome though.
Golfers of either gender often don't like to play with beginners who can't hit the ball, can't keep up, ask a lot of naïve questions about how to play the game, or generally make a fool of themselves. So when she played as a beginner, I can see the negativity that might have existed there and it should not have been interpreted as negative against women. When she played as a pro, I can see some men not wanting to get beaten by a woman. I have to apologize and soothe bruised egos all the time when my 75 pound son beats grown men (almost every time we are paired with a stranger). It makes them uncomfortable. That isn't hatred, that is discomfort. So I'd challenge your authors to take the same "facts" and write a story about how men don't like to play with strangers. The story would sound the same except it would say that they are generally glad to play with good looking female strangers. But you got a million hits on the article, riled up an angry misogynist and got a laugh out of that, and got general support from the politically correct crowd who knew they would agree with and support this article before they even read it. But thinking readers had to wonder if there might not have been other explanations for the observed behaviors of the unfortunate golfers who had their rounds made into data for a poorly formulated study. -- Jerry Stephenson
Bob Carney
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