One of the worst kinds of slow golfers: the guy who never picks up. Photo by Cy CyrRemember "You know you're a redneck if...." ? Well, a North Carolina reader has adapted that to speed up play at his club. It's a memo you might want to borrow at some point.
Slow Golfers:
It is a fact that we have all had to endure the company of slow golfers from time to time. The one thing that all slow golfers have in common is that they do not see that they are the slow ones. A comment like "nobody is pushing us" is the favorite expression of the slow golfer. Nobody is pushing you because they either went home or they jumped you. It is your job to stay up with the group in front of you, not ahead of the group behind you. If you are unsure of what category you fit into, I have come up with a test...
1. You might be a slow golfer if ... you wait in your cart for your partner to hit, so he can drive you six yards to your ball.
2. You might be a slow golfer if ... when it is your turn, you are not even close to being ready, i.e., the guy beside you is running down the fairway after his hat and you are throwing up grass to see if there is any wind.
3. You might be a slow golfer if ... you leave your cart and walk 50 yards to your ball (in an effort to ascertain some mysterious information) and then make the journey back to select 3 clubs from your bag.
4. You might be a slow golfer if ... you spend quite a bit of time discerning that you have 245 to the hole and not 243, despite the fact that you have not hit it either 245 or 243 since 1962.
5. You might be a slow golfer if ... you have decided for a multitude of reasons that you are not going to follow the trend of buying a gps system ... but when someone in the group has one, you will make them come over and give you a reading for everyone of your shots that day.
6. You might be a slow golfer if ... you are quite happy to use a delegation to help you read a triple-breaking, 45-ft putt. Seriously, who are you kidding?
7. You might be a slow golfer if ... you are of the opinion that each golf course employs 18 rangers and that explains why there is always one on the hole that you are playing.
8. You might be a slow golfer if ... you hear comments like "Get off the green," "What now?" or the doozie, "You are without question, the slowest golfer that I have ever seen." These might be indicators to look out for.
Pearse Mahon,
Oak Ridge, NC
Love your list, Pearse, especially No. 7. We'd love to hear our readers suggest others. I'll start. "You know you're a slow golfer if a Bridgestone 3 just whizzed by your head as you recorded your first fairway-hit standing next to the green." It belonged to a guy I know.
This year: Play Fast!
-- Bob Carney
Rating
Comments
Post A Comment