From reader Lonn Friend of LA comes this "Nicholson Moment":

Kudos on your Nicholson cover story.  Brought to mind what I can only describe as a surreal moment a few years back at the exquisite Sherwood Country Club.  I was a guest of my friend, actor Miguel Ferrer. Longtime media icon, Les Garland, and Jack's Easy Rider running mate, Dennis Hopper, an old pal of Garland's, completed the foursome.  We'd all just hit our drives on the magnificent number 14, downhill dogleg left and we're approaching our balls in the fairway when a caddie comes jogging toward us from the tee box.  "Hang on," says Miguel.  "That's Nicholson's caddie."

We wait patiently 'til the twenty-something kid in the white jumpsuit reaches us.  "Hi guys," he says.  "Jack would like to play through."  None of us were aware of Jack's presence on the course.  We didn't see him before the round.  He must have tee'd off later but blazed a pretty sweet clip to reach our group.  The kid waves toward the tee box and smack, a drive comes soaring down the fairway, landing in the left rough, ten feet where we're standing, in the shadow of the hole's intimidating oak tree. Couple minutes later, here comes Nicholson.  And I'm standing next to Dennis Hooper.  Talk about a Forrest Gump moment.  "Hello, Jack," smiles Hopper.  "Looking good, Hop!" fires back his friend of 40 years.  "Now watch carefully 'cause you're not gonna believe this shot," whereupon the Oscar-winning, Laker-loving avatar of entertainment and the life-fantastic smokes a five-iron under a slightly obstructing tree limb, landing on the lower right edge of the green.  "See you guys in the Clubhouse."  Priceless.  

Lonn, can I get a game with you?

--Bob Carney

(Photo of Miguel Ferrer: IMDB.com)

Sometimes I get so mad at myself it's close to the assassination level. Then I get in the car and think, Why ruin other people's golf with your rotten, disgraceful attitude? Jack Nicholson

You guys are sticklers for the rules. Besides correcting us when we get rules questions wrong, you often object to rules-violators whom we cover. Latest example: Jack Nicholson, who espoused these rules of play:

1. No double bogeys on the first six holes.

2. I don't gamble. But if we must gamble, I only collect, I don't pay.

3. Under pressure, I'll cheat ya.

4. Any green in regulation, the second putt is called goo-oo-ood.

Anthony Abilo of Madison, N.J., can't abide our publicizing Jack's rules.

Your magazine should not be in the business of glorifying golfers who cheat when calculating their handicaps. According to the article, Nicholson has a 12.5?I am a struggling 27 handicap who always plays by the rules and would never think of doing anything dishonest on the golf course. It is an insult to the integrity of the game that Jack can boast a 12.5 handicap given his set of ?rules?.

Anthony, in my experience there are two types of handicap manipulators: those who try to keep their handicaps low and those who try to keep them high. Beware of both; the first as a partner, the second as an opponent. But in Jack's case, I think he's just trying to keep his blood pressure low. Though his rules don't work for me or you, being the upstanding rules citizens that we are, at least he's having fun. I suspect the Lakeside buddies who compete against him adjust for his "rules."

--Bob Carney

(Photo: Nigel Parry)

Some of you are giving thanks for our cover story on actor Jack Nicholson. Some of you are decidly not. Here's a sampling of a load of mail we're received on the "other" Jack.

"What a great interview!" says Bill Wilkins of New Egypt, NJ.

The problem was reading it and not listening to the voices of his characters answering the questions.  I would hear one character answer and then I would go back and re-read as another, "What a rush".   That story , turned into movie, would be one of the greatest golf movies ever made.

  And from Dave Kurrent of Pinole, CA:

When asked about my (erratic) golf game, especially as a single joining a group on the tee, I would reply "sometimes I play like Jack Nicklaus and sometimes like Jack Nicholson" and receive a chuckle.

But now Golf Digest has burst my bubble by highlighting Jack Nicholson as one of the best golfers in Hollywood.
 
Now I'll have to come up with a new line.

But others took exception to "Jack's Rules":

All you have to do is look at his short list of rules he plays by to quickly figure out that he is merely a person who plays golf and not a golfer.  That's why he has a short list of golfing buddies.  Who wants to play golf with somebody who bets but welches on them every time he loses?  Anybody who can think logically will come to the conclusion that he never shot a 64.

That was Pete Balerud of Columbus, NE. He has an ally in Ed Lawrence of Bozeman, MT:

Gents,

If I wanted celebrity interviews I'd read Vanity Fair.

Conversely, the interview w/Boo was entertaining.

Of course, you get the last word so I expect my comment will be followed by
a list of those who disagree.

Nonetheless, thanks for publishing your email address.

Ed, at your request, you'll only be followed by someone who feels exactly as you do, perhaps more so. Here's Harold Schmidt of Plymouth, IN:

You wasted 11 pages on Jack Nicholson, I won't be renewing my subscription.

That hurts, Harold. Please reconsider. Jack Nickaus will be back soon.

--Bob Carney

Got a letter from a Ted Raymond of El Mirage, AZ, about our Hollywood's Top 100 in the December issue. He sounded like an insider.

Your list of "Hollywood's Top-100" is lacking a bit of credibility. You have hackers with handicaps up to 36-plus included on the list. Yet don't even mention one actor who I would back against many on the list - even though I haven't teed it up with him for 30 years!

M. Emmet Walsh was one of the best grinders I've ever played with. During my short LA sojourn, he introduced me to the Hollywood Hackers, a group of actors that teed it up on Monday at various venues, mostly in the valley.

Emmet and Claude Akins were probably the two toughest sticks in the group. And, unless age and infirmity has grabbed him, I would venture to say that Emmet is probably still a single-digit handicapper.

Hmmm. Ted Raymond. Probably not the T.R. (Ted Raymond) Knight of Grey?s Anatomy?wrong generation?but could it be the Ted Raymond who played Spencer in The Truman Show? I asked?.

Yep...the same Ted Raymond who, after Bob Denver told me to "go west, you'll get a lot of work," left Chicago and ended up doing mostly plays at Harlequin Dinner Theatre, a couple of commercials, a 2-part "All in the Family" -- and playing golf with the Hollywood Hackers! Retreated to Chicago, then "retired" to Florida panhandle and took up golf and column writing again (after a 30 year lapse!)...did that (now a Life Member of GWAA) for 26 years - and landed the the Spencer role on The Truman Show before I "retired" again out here to Arizona.

Even starting up the acting bit again...did Doc in "West Side Story" and now at Phoenix Theatre in "The Quiltmaker's Gift," playing - what else - the Old Man!

That golf group back in the day had a bunch of the second tier guys in it...Akins, John Agar, Emmet, Kevin Hagen...bunch of others. Emmet and Claude were the toughest, if memory serves.
Since moving out here, I screwed up my handicap over the summer with good rounds on the home course (Pueblo El Mirage) getting out hand on the ball because of sparse grass...down to a 5.1 index and will get my ass kicked all over the place this winter!

Well, Ted, I hope not. At 5.1 you'd be in the top five of our list! But thanks for the heads-up on Emmet Walsh, a great character actor who seems to show up in all the films we like, which we'll check out. A quick search on ghin.com didn't find him, but we'll keep looking.

--Bob Carney

(Photo: Fractured Angel Films)