Taking Relief

Continued (page 3 of 3)

The man promptly did just that. And it's a good thing, for prolonged captivity in a golf course Port-O-Let can leave a person with nothing to pass but the time. At the 2009 U.S. Open, tournament officials at Bethpage Black helpfully provided reading material. "The portable toilet outside the media center has signs with tips on putting and hitting drives, irons and sand shots," Dan Jenkins tweeted from that tournament. "Nothing on the grip."

Whether you overlap or interlock, the swing thoughts are much the same, on the tee box or in the woods: Feet spread, slight bend of the knees, relax. Going out of doors, as God intended, remains the most practical and dignified way of seeking relief on a golf course. It is certainly the least terrifying. Ask any pro who ever played in the annual tour stop in Honolulu.

"There used to be a Port-O-Let just for players next to the range at Waialae, and when a player went in there, guys would start firing 3-irons at it to see what they could make happen," says Mark Long. "If you've ever been in one of those things and a golf ball smacks it, it'll rock your world."

Additional reporting by Dave Shedloski.

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